TheBanyanTree: Helpful information and Godzilla go to Rio

[Peter Macinnis]

gall. Commonly divided into three parts: the bitter, the biter, and the
bit. There was a St Gall, who appears not to have been divided at any stage.

gallows humour. Full-throttle comedy, often containing an element of
suspense. Not suitable for the *highly strung*, as some of these chokes are
in bad taste.

galoot. Slang term for any fool who engages in activities that lead to
overpopulation, as in the rare and environmentally damaging 21-son galoot.

galvanoplasty. The practice, much in vogue in 19th century France, of
electroplating corpses in a one millimetre thick copper 'skin', prior to
burial.

game theory. Applied by hunters, this is fairly basic (possibly to match
their intellects). In essence, the theory says: if it moves, it's game.

Garish. The inhabitants of the island of Gar in the central Pacific, who
wear outrageously colourful clothing, and tell even more outrageously
colourful stories about themselves, their life and times. Some experts
believe that the Garish do not really exist outside of their own myths and
legends, that they are a pigment of the imagination. One recent theory is
that they are really the *Invisigoths* in clever disguise.

garment industry. A seamy business.

GATT. Alleged to stand for the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade, it
is neither general nor an agreement. Those applying a literal
interpretation to the effect of *double negatives* retain their hopes for
GATT.

gaucho. In the USA, almost all adult male cowboys are right-handed, and
this makes it harder for them to turn a herd which is breaking to the
right. This skill, however, comes naturally to the riders from Argentina
who are brought up to ride left-handed, even when they are right-handed.
For this reason, most American ranches employ one or two 'gauchos' (Spanish
for 'lefties') to ride on the right-hand side of a travelling herd. In
reality, they are often as right-handed as we are. The most famous was
Gaucho Marx.

gauntlet. The glove which is known by this name today was in fact named
after the gauntlet hunting dog of the Ardennes Forest. As the name implies,
it was a small lean dog, but its hide was as tough as tanned leather, and
it was totally fearless in the hunt, where just two of these fox
terrier-sized dogs would often bring down a wild boar between them. If a
single dog did not make an immediate kill, the boar would become enraged,
which is why running the gauntlet was dangerous, and most hunters preferred
to run three or four gauntlets together.

geiger counter. A device designed to count large numbers of radioactive
events. Geiger is the German version of 'giga-'. In Bavaria, these devices
are used in beer-halls when physics students engage in a stylised form of
duelling, although this is frowned upon, because of the dangers of the
counter-lunge.

general relativity theory. As a general rule, when you start gossiping
about somebody in any country town, the person you are talking about is
related to your listener.

genetics. A procedure which involved crossing fruit fly with all manner of
other animals. Where large animals are involved, special machinery may need
to be designed and built by specialist genetic engineers.

geodesy. The art of designing complete worlds.

geographer. The only known kind of human able to disprove the *four-colour
map theorem with nothing more than a sheet of paper and a few coloured
pencils.

geography. The ultimate in reductionism, having reduced the environment and
all its interactions to a few marks on a sheet of paper. Sometimes in less
than four colours, at that, but not often.

geopolitics. While it is a matter of some shame to scientists everywhere,
there is a great deal of politics in their interactions, but nowhere so
seriously as in the earth sciences, possibly because mud-slinging comes
more easily to that group.

germs. Invisible things which make us very sick. Of course, now we are
civilised, we no longer believe in them.

gerontology. The study and criticism of _The Dream of Gerontius_. This
activity was popular in the early part of this century.

Gershwin, George. A famous composer who got his start writing commercials,
many of which were later recycled into serious music. His early motion
picture music for a film on 'do-it-yourself' wallpapering, _Wrapsody in
Glue_, was later used in a variety of other works.

gesundheit. A German expression of goodwill, uttered after somebody
sneezes. It literally means 'may your ears (gesunden) remain warm (heit)',
that is, attached to your head.


  _--|\    Peter Macinnis             macinnis at ozemail.com.au
 /     \   Chair of Aggressive Calligraphy and Competitive Pharmacognosy,
 \.--._*   also Anti-Vice-Chancellor, University of Anson Bay
      v    http://members.ozemail.com.au/~macinnis/index.htm