TheBanyanTree: Yet Further Helpful information

[Peter Macinnis]

accolade.  A drink made from fruit juices, and drunk by accordion players.

accordion.  1. A legal instrument, as in the expression 'accordion to the
evidence'.  2. An instrument which does not greatly recommend itself to
nudist musicians.  3. Any instrument with a similar effect on music lovers,
clothed or unclothed.

acetate.  The kind of chemical avoided by the wise chemist, on the ground
that he who acetates is lost.

acme.  A particularly unpleasant skin condition.  The spelling 'acne' is
used by hypersensitive people who wish to pretend that the condition could
never happen to them, even though it is etymologically incorrect.

Acmeism.  A belief, common among animators, that all bad and fearsome
technologically-based things come from companies named Acme.

action painting.  1. The sort of artistic work which demands instant action
on the part of the public, but which only rarely brings it about.  2. The
sort of painting which is dreadful enough to cause somebody to cast
aspersions about it, leading to a court action.  Many observers assert
that, sadly, there are even more type 2 action paintings than there are
type 1 action paintings.  Others say the reverse is true: the truth
probably lies somewhere in between.

acupuncture.  Needling a patient for rather more than pin money.  Highly
effective as a cure for smoking, apparently because people think twice
before lighting up again after they have seen some of the needles that
acupuncturists use, saying that the treatment is worse than the skewer.

adaptive radiation.  A form of ultraviolent light which is able to vary its
wavelength through the photo-eclectic effect, as explained by the
Australian pioneer radiator, Hermione Bland.  She established that the
first quanta, bouncing off a reflective surface, interfere with the
following quanta, causing them to vary to a more penetrating wavelength.
Once quanta penetrate the surface, a standing wave is set up, stabilising
the wavelength, and so causing more skin cancers than would otherwise be
the case.  The term is also used to refer to mutagenic regions of the
electromagnetic spectrum, in a vain attempt to make them sound more
attractive.

adding machine.  Any make of car which is prestigious enough to ensure that
the account for its repair will be significantly padded.  It should be
noted that such a car is never associated with anything so common as a bill.
addition reaction.  The normal response to any account or bill tendered in
a tourist area.

adipose.  Derived from the stance commonly adopted by Addie, a minor but
nonetheless hugely obese character in Samuel Butler's 'The Weigh of All
Flesh'.  As depicted in the novel, Addie vainly believes that he can make
himself look thinner by standing "in an erect pose".

ad hoc.  In cookery, the use of white wine as an additive to the meal,
rather than red wine, usually for no better reason than that the white wine
is within reach.

administrator.  One whose ministrations do not add up.


  _--|\    Peter Macinnis             macinnis at ozemail.com.au
 /     \   Reader in Voluptuary Hermeneutics and Parametric Venery, 
 \.--._*   Special interests: Coriolis Force Theology and Adoptive Cosmogony 
      v    http://members.ozemail.com.au/~macinnis/index.htm