TheBanyanTree: Jerking the chain...

[Jim Miller]

At 09:44 AM 4/4/2003 -0800, Linda & Tobie wrote:
>>"You ought to be a doctor," I said.
>>
>>"Hm.  Maybe."
>>
>>"Or a nurse."
>>
>>"Eeyew!  I'd have to wear a pink dress!"
>>
>>
>>???
>
>
>
>April 4, 2000003
>
>
>Dear LL, and aLL,
>         I say:  go for it.
>
>         If he doesn't like the idea, either he can be a doctor, or I 
> guess he could get a part time in some day care center affixing band-aids 
> and fetching wheel chairs.
>
>         Love,
>
>         Tobie

Having just completed 3 weeks under the watchful and caring attention of 
nurses in one of my cities finest medical facilities, I can ad this:

Each day had 3 shift changes with a rotation of personnel every 2-3 days. 
At each shift change, regardless of the hour, I was subjected to a series 
of probes, prods, deep breathing, BP, oxygen level, etc. Obviously, it is 
required that the care nurse have a live patient at the beginning of the 
shift and the status be appropriately noted.

Care was similar, whether the nurse was male or female. Male nurses tended 
to be more detached. I only had 2 nurses that I requested never care for me 
again. The first couldn't quit taking to herself and constantly asked inane 
questions. The second failed for 5 hours to get me a med after surgery. I 
wanted it before I went to sleep. I finally, got up, walked the 1/2 mile to 
the nurses station, announced that I was pissed and would start making 
phone calls until I got my pill.

Pill administered within 2 minutes.

Now, about the exciting daily experiences of a care nurse.

"Always pee in the bottle. I have to measure every drop."
"We need a clean specimen. Wash before you pee in the jar."
"Do you feel like you'll could have a bowel movement?"
"When you have a bowel movement, be sure to hit the little plastic bowl. 
They need a specimen."
"I guess we'd better scan your bladder."
"Wow, your holding nearly a liter there. We'd better get it out."
"Relax, I've seen 10 of them today. This may be a little uncomfortable 
going in. See how I inflate this little ball. That's what holds it inside."
The final assault was when I coughed and the 5 inch incision split top to 
bottom, spewing blood, fluid and fat. Not pretty. The nurse is the first 
line to stop the carnage and pull the necessary specialists together.

Now, you couple that with a part time work week to hold overhead costs in 
line, pay that fails to reflect the responsibility, and the fact that not 
all patients are as considerate and gracious as Moi (one lady on my wing 
didn't feel like using the toilet and demanded diapers);

Nurses simply must have a special calling.

Now Doctors; appropriately age them with wisdom to get them beyond their 
God complex, and you may have a profession for a caring, gentle person. On 
the other hand, what we hear today is that Medicare and lawyers are robbing 
them of all incentive. I believe that is the truth.

Another day, I may tell you about the wonderful angels that care for my 
unappreciative mother in the nursing home. Now there is a calling requiring 
a special gift.

Jim Miller
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