TheBanyanTree: Golden

[SarahAnne Hazlewood]

I will have to be married for 38 more years to reach
my golden anniversary.  That's just double the 38
years old I am now.

My husband will be 91 years old then.

Wow.


April 17th 1953, 50 years ago today was the wedding of


Harold Glenn Schmidt 
     and 
Helen Louise York

                    My parents.

         Sigh.

Every time I think of it, I tear up.

They had such a difficult and often violent marriage. 
They should never have stayed married - saying they
were doing it 'for the kids'.  In and out of therapy. 
Screaming.  Drinking.  Throwing things.  Tying the
children's emotiongs in knots.  Hating each other. 
Battling each other.  Hating themselves.

In the end, though, the power of my father's character
in the face of my mother's illness was truly awesome.

He cared for her in a way none of us could have
expected.  As the plaque filled her brain she became
more and more abusive, paranoid, and agitated.  He
responded with a compassion and patience that would
have moved her younger self.  When he was given a
means and motive to demonstrate his love, the same
means and motive took from her the ability to
appreciate it.

No two people ever deserved a greater celebration for
having endured 50 years of married life.

No family ever wanted more to give them that
celebration.

But there is only one who can celebrate and the ever
present knowledge that the other is still here, still
alive, but lost to us...  well it's hard to celebrate
at all.

My mother will not understand the flowers that she
receives today.  But I will take them anyway.


-sash

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