TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months; and Paul
anita at redpepper.net.au
anita at redpepper.net.au
Sun Nov 8 18:33:59 PST 2020
Tobie and Paul,
I am so sorry - I am catching up backwards.
Condolences to you both on the passing of your mothers. Tobie - I am so glad
you were with her till the end. Paul - I am so sorry that you were unable to
see your mother before she passed on. Hugs to you both. xxx
Anita
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Today's Topics:
1. 100 years, seven months (tobie at shpilchas.net)
2. Re: 100 years, seven months (JENA NORTON)
3. Re: 100 years, seven months (paul)
4. Re: 100 years, seven months (peter macinnis)
5. Re: 100 years, seven months (paul)
6. Re: 100 years, seven months (Theta Brentnall)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2020 14:12:00 -0700
From: tobie at shpilchas.net
To: The Banyan Tree <thebanyantree at remsset.com>
Subject: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <857956F5-04F5-46B3-B62E-25FDD22E2D18 at shpilchas.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
This is Tobie from "Sheltering In Place" (S.I.P.). I?ve been thinking of
you. Shabbat Shalom.
The shiva candle is quietly burning in the window. We buried my
mother on Thursday. Six feet apart, close family far apart. Kaddish
through a mask. Probably no one heard me choke up and skip a v?yit. Well,
Meyshe did. It threw him off for a second. He was standing right next to
me. Our little pod can touch. My best friend came. I haven?t seen her for
close to a year now. My daughter and her husband came from San Francisco. As
half faces we acknowledged each other. She?s dyed her hair auburn (it was
dark blond). People said it was hard to recognize everyone with all the
face coverings. Someone said, "But we can always tell who YOU are." I
asked why and they all laughed. Evidently I?m always the most colorful
person present. I?ve forgotten who I am maybe.
Can?t go into my mother?s room. But I did once. I opened one of her
jewelry cases and took out the amethyst ring she wanted me to have and the
victorian era ring I gave her: a band with a small pearl and around the ring
tightly braided hair. It was a popular gift between friends and lovers back
way back back. I put them on, wore them to the cemetery. But I took them
off when we got home. Didn?t know where to put them.
They?d had to pile up the dirt on top of the Lieberman's place next
door. We apologized. And they had to move the Shapiro headstone, promising
everything would be put back where it belonged.
So I guess everything is put back where it belongs.
We need to notify everyone about my mother?s passing. I saved a list
of people who were invited to the 100th birthday open house that never took
place because the pandemic fell down on top of us. We thought we could
call people. But when I opened up the file, it was only addresses, no
telephone numbers, no email. So we thought we?d send cards ? nice ones. I
was charged with searching on the net for a thoughtful not maudlin card.
Came up empty. You want a picture of Monet?s garden? My mother liked
Gauguin, but topless native women with fruit? Then it came to me that the
walls in this house are covered with her paintings. I know her favorites and
I?ll photograph them, have cards made.
Meyshe comes into my room at night and sleeps on the other side of
the huge bed. He asked me, "Isn?t this going to look wrong?" I told him no
one was looking, but he could sleep on top of the comforter and I?d sleep
under. I think each one of us wants to think the other needs more support.
True. We both need more support.
I had to tell my literary agents back east that I couldn?t send them
anything to submit right now. They understood. Of course they did. Everyone
has parents. Or had parents. This is nothing like my father?s death. He
was a monster and all I felt when he died was a sense of relief and a new
feeling I didn?t even recognize: I felt safe. With my mother?s passing I
feel uprooted, laid aside on the ground next to where I was growing only a
moment ago. I was the last person on earth she spoke to and I accompanied
her to the edge of her passing. I feel privileged, and haunted.
Love,
Tobie
"It's a shame chaos requires such little maintenance" THS
Tobie Shapiro
mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2020 17:12:02 -0500
From: JENA NORTON <eudora45 at sbcglobal.net>
To: "A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own
*original* writings." <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <B906E379-BF8E-47E6-AF29-88F195629297 at sbcglobal.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
I am so sorry. No matter how many years, it?s never enough. But you are her
legacy.
Sent from my iPad
> On Oct 31, 2020, at 4:12 PM, tobie at shpilchas.net wrote:
>
> This is Tobie from "Sheltering In Place" (S.I.P.). I?ve been thinking of
you. Shabbat Shalom.
>
> The shiva candle is quietly burning in the window. We buried my mother
on Thursday. Six feet apart, close family far apart. Kaddish through a
mask. Probably no one heard me choke up and skip a v?yit. Well, Meyshe did.
It threw him off for a second. He was standing right next to me. Our little
pod can touch. My best friend came. I haven?t seen her for close to a year
now. My daughter and her husband came from San Francisco. As half faces we
acknowledged each other. She?s dyed her hair auburn (it was dark blond).
People said it was hard to recognize everyone with all the face coverings.
Someone said, "But we can always tell who YOU are." I asked why and they
all laughed. Evidently I?m always the most colorful person present. I?ve
forgotten who I am maybe.
>
> Can?t go into my mother?s room. But I did once. I opened one of her
jewelry cases and took out the amethyst ring she wanted me to have and the
victorian era ring I gave her: a band with a small pearl and around the ring
tightly braided hair. It was a popular gift between friends and lovers back
way back back. I put them on, wore them to the cemetery. But I took them
off when we got home. Didn?t know where to put them.
>
> They?d had to pile up the dirt on top of the Lieberman's place next
door. We apologized. And they had to move the Shapiro headstone, promising
everything would be put back where it belonged.
>
> So I guess everything is put back where it belongs.
>
> We need to notify everyone about my mother?s passing. I saved a list of
people who were invited to the 100th birthday open house that never took
place because the pandemic fell down on top of us. We thought we could
call people. But when I opened up the file, it was only addresses, no
telephone numbers, no email. So we thought we?d send cards ? nice ones. I
was charged with searching on the net for a thoughtful not maudlin card.
Came up empty. You want a picture of Monet?s garden? My mother liked
Gauguin, but topless native women with fruit? Then it came to me that the
walls in this house are covered with her paintings. I know her favorites and
I?ll photograph them, have cards made.
>
> Meyshe comes into my room at night and sleeps on the other side of the
huge bed. He asked me, "Isn?t this going to look wrong?" I told him no one
was looking, but he could sleep on top of the comforter and I?d sleep under.
I think each one of us wants to think the other needs more support. True.
We both need more support.
>
> I had to tell my literary agents back east that I couldn?t send them
anything to submit right now. They understood. Of course they did. Everyone
has parents. Or had parents. This is nothing like my father?s death. He
was a monster and all I felt when he died was a sense of relief and a new
feeling I didn?t even recognize: I felt safe. With my mother?s passing I
feel uprooted, laid aside on the ground next to where I was growing only a
moment ago. I was the last person on earth she spoke to and I accompanied
her to the edge of her passing. I feel privileged, and haunted.
>
> Love,
>
> Tobie
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "It's a shame chaos requires such little maintenance" THS
>
>
>
> Tobie Shapiro
> mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Want to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
> forgotten your password? Go here:
> http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2020 18:12:37 -0500
From: paul <paul at remsset.com>
To: "A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own
*original* writings." <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <5F9DEF65.4090603 at remsset.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8; format=flowed
tobie at shpilchas.net said the following on 10/31/2020 4:12 PM:
> This is Tobie from "Sheltering In Place" (S.I.P.). I?ve been thinking
> of you. Shabbat Shalom.
I'm sorry to hear this. Hugs. You have a hundred years of memories.
Oh, wait. That didn't come out right.
Hugs anyway.
paul
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2020 10:20:26 +1100
From: peter macinnis <petermacinnis at ozemail.com.au>
To: thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <58eac3e1-2644-de43-f554-c548fdcdc7df at ozemail.com.au>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8; format=flowed
Maybe hold that thought?
Stay strong.
peter
On 1/11/2020 08:12, tobie at shpilchas.net wrote:
> I was the last person on earth she spoke to and I accompanied her to the
edge of her passing. I feel privileged, and haunted.
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2020 18:34:04 -0500
From: paul <paul at remsset.com>
To: "A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own
*original* writings." <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <5F9DF46C.4030604 at remsset.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8; format=flowed
tobie at shpilchas.net said the following on 10/31/2020 4:12 PM:
> This is Tobie from "Sheltering In Place" (S.I.P.). I?ve been thinking
> of you. Shabbat Shalom.
>
My Mom died August 31. One month shy of 83. In the hospital, I hope
someone was with her. The hospital called about 10:15 PM and said "come see
her" and called again half an hour later saying she was gone.
Yeah, and from here to there is at least an hour and a half drive.
I'll spare the rest of the circus details.
I haven't seen her since last February... the nursing home locked down for
the Kung Flu. Anyway. It feels weird.
paul
--
_____________________________________
http://remsset.com
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2020 07:09:25 -0800
From: Theta Brentnall <tybrent at gmail.com>
To: "A comfortable place to meet other people and exchange your own
*original* writings." <thebanyantree at lists.remsset.com>
Subject: Re: TheBanyanTree: 100 years, seven months
Message-ID: <AD09D84A-0799-4179-8E38-53088D1CC577 at gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
I am so sorry, Tobie. I also was with my mother at her last moment of life.
I knew she felt safe enough to slide into the next existence with me there,
telling her I love her. When the first waves of grieve even out, you can
hold that memory as an act of grace.
Theta
Sent from my iPad
> On Oct 31, 2020, at 2:12 PM, tobie at shpilchas.net wrote:
>
> ?This is Tobie from "Sheltering In Place" (S.I.P.). I?ve been thinking of
you. Shabbat Shalom.
>
> The shiva candle is quietly burning in the window. We buried my mother
on Thursday. Six feet apart, close family far apart. Kaddish through a
mask. Probably no one heard me choke up and skip a v?yit. Well, Meyshe did.
It threw him off for a second. He was standing right next to me. Our little
pod can touch. My best friend came. I haven?t seen her for close to a year
now. My daughter and her husband came from San Francisco. As half faces we
acknowledged each other. She?s dyed her hair auburn (it was dark blond).
People said it was hard to recognize everyone with all the face coverings.
Someone said, "But we can always tell who YOU are." I asked why and they
all laughed. Evidently I?m always the most colorful person present. I?ve
forgotten who I am maybe.
>
> Can?t go into my mother?s room. But I did once. I opened one of her
jewelry cases and took out the amethyst ring she wanted me to have and the
victorian era ring I gave her: a band with a small pearl and around the ring
tightly braided hair. It was a popular gift between friends and lovers back
way back back. I put them on, wore them to the cemetery. But I took them
off when we got home. Didn?t know where to put them.
>
> They?d had to pile up the dirt on top of the Lieberman's place next
door. We apologized. And they had to move the Shapiro headstone, promising
everything would be put back where it belonged.
>
> So I guess everything is put back where it belongs.
>
> We need to notify everyone about my mother?s passing. I saved a list of
people who were invited to the 100th birthday open house that never took
place because the pandemic fell down on top of us. We thought we could
call people. But when I opened up the file, it was only addresses, no
telephone numbers, no email. So we thought we?d send cards ? nice ones. I
was charged with searching on the net for a thoughtful not maudlin card.
Came up empty. You want a picture of Monet?s garden? My mother liked
Gauguin, but topless native women with fruit? Then it came to me that the
walls in this house are covered with her paintings. I know her favorites and
I?ll photograph them, have cards made.
>
> Meyshe comes into my room at night and sleeps on the other side of the
huge bed. He asked me, "Isn?t this going to look wrong?" I told him no one
was looking, but he could sleep on top of the comforter and I?d sleep under.
I think each one of us wants to think the other needs more support. True.
We both need more support.
>
> I had to tell my literary agents back east that I couldn?t send them
anything to submit right now. They understood. Of course they did. Everyone
has parents. Or had parents. This is nothing like my father?s death. He
was a monster and all I felt when he died was a sense of relief and a new
feeling I didn?t even recognize: I felt safe. With my mother?s passing I
feel uprooted, laid aside on the ground next to where I was growing only a
moment ago. I was the last person on earth she spoke to and I accompanied
her to the edge of her passing. I feel privileged, and haunted.
>
> Love,
>
> Tobie
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "It's a shame chaos requires such little maintenance" THS
>
>
>
> Tobie Shapiro
> mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Want to change your name, email address, or password? Or have you
forgotten your password? Go here:
http://lists.remsset.com/listinfo.cgi/thebanyantree-remsset.com
------------------------------
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