TheBanyanTree: The Divisioin of Department of departments

[Gloria]

Oh my.  Michigan’s small towns provide a distinct advantage for license
renewal. While driving by a Secretary of State office, we might decide it’s
a good time for us to stop in. We stop and we’re in and out within a few
minutes. Nice!

Wishing you a joyful birthday, Tobie!





On Sun, Jul 14, 2019 at 7:38 PM Russ Doden <russ.doden at gmail.com> wrote:

> Well, well. Here I thought I was much older than you Tobie! Turns out I'm
> only a few days older! Those are body years though. Inside, the decrement
> counter was activated some time ago!
>
> On Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 18:02 Teague, Julie Anna <jateague at indiana.edu>
> wrote:
>
> > You just blew my mind. We’ve been together here for a good long time, but
> > I keep thinking we’re a bunch of 30 and 40 somethings.  And yes, what is
> > with the trick questions?
> >
> > Julie (I keep forgetting I’m old now.)
> >
> > Sent from my iPhone
> >
> > > On Jul 14, 2019, at 4:27 PM, "tobie at shpilchas.net" <
> tobie at shpilchas.net>
> > wrote:
> > >
> > > Sunday, July 14th, 2019
> > >
> > >
> > > Do not get in your little cars and go for a drive,
> > >
> > >    My driver’s license was due for renewal come my birthday this year.
> > But as opposed to the last 20 years, this year, since I’ve evolved past
> the
> > demarkation that classifies me officially as decrepit and cognitively
> > crispy, the California Department of Motor Vehicles required that I take
> > the written test for renewal.  Clearly ageist, but maybe only statistical
> > data on the demographic, however selective.   Still, it’s the 16 to 19
> year
> > olds who need the scrutiny and, well, chaperones.  But they’re definitely
> > cuter.  Cute matters, you know.  Do you see the Hungerford’s Crawling
> Water
> > Beetle getting much attention on the endangered species list?
> > >
> > >    Okay. That was gratuitous.  What I came to tell you was about my
> very
> > personal trip to the DMV to take (and pass) the written driver’s test.
> You
> > know those kinds of tests, no matter what country you live in.  They’re
> > written by the same people who write the high school obedience
> proficiency
> > exams ( a nod to your history, P. Macinnis).  There is always a trick
> > question or two designed to humble you. They are there for no other
> > apparent reason, certainly not to demonstrate your comprehension of vital
> > information.  Studying for this test, I figured there may have been some
> > changes since I last took it.   I stole some time away from home,
> meaning I
> > had to make sure someone was here to be with my mom so I could leave the
> > house (Oh Lord! is that a long story) and toodled by the DMV to get the
> > California 2019 Drivers Handbook.  I read the damn thing cover to cover
> and
> > then took every online test available in preparation.  I don’t like to
> get
> > less than 100%. It’s an illness.
> > >
> > >    There were no appointments available at my local office.  You can
> > make appointments online.  It’s a primitive system compared to others in
> > the private sector and it’s obvious why.  We live in a democracy  —  at
> > least we live in one when an excuse is needed for sloth.  The cutting
> edge
> > appointment making programs are designed for a smaller demographic  —
> > smaller than a hundred fifty million anyway.  So when the government
> > finally got both houses of Congress to hammer out an official intent to
> go
> > electronic and lobbed it up to the President to sign, the cutting edge
> had
> > gotten rather dull, and the whole idea had to to be revised to reflect
> > compatibility issues with the 21st century technological milieu.  The
> bill
> > went back to go through the rewrite and approval gamut.  This delayed the
> > proposed online appointment system for another few years.  But all things
> > come to those who wait (this is where the concept of, "unto the 7th
> > generation," comes in handy. Somewhere down the dynastic line, that thing
> > that finally comes to those who wait arrives to a surprised, or
> > disinterested, or illegitimate descendant.)  Let’s just cut to the
> > far-from-cutting-edge chase, and say government approval has been secured
> > for installing a country wide online appointment scheduling system.  Did
> I
> > discuss the requisite appropriation of funding?  Well, simply put, there
> > are a few more than too many bureaus in the federal government that will
> be
> > needing this new system installed, and each of them will have to have
> this
> > system redesigned or tweaked or surgically altered to their individual
> > idiosyncratic specifications.  You understand that stuff like this takes
> > time.  Each of these bureau specific scheduling systems, the Feds decide,
> > must go through their own department channels to procure funding.  But
> > there is an across the board awareness that the high tech advancement
> clock
> > is ticking and the scheduling systems are going to have to keep up to be
> > compatible with an ever changing world.  At this point in the process,
> the
> > only reliable constant still remaining is that there is still a war in
> > Afghanistan and Iraq and a few other places we’re not supposed to know
> > about.  The mandate to go electronic is handed down from the federal
> > government to the states so the states have been going through their own
> > individual processes of proposals, vetting approvals, revisions, vetting,
> > rejections, revisions, approvals and bids from tech vendors, more
> proposals
> > and wrestling for approval, all with the understanding that the federal
> > government must be dealt with, meaning haggling, negotiating, complying,
> > and of course, waiting.  You understand that stuff like this takes more
> > time. Do all things come to those who wait?  This would be a good time to
> > revisit the validity of the aphorism.
> > >
> > >    After having made my appointment with the DMV to take the written
> > test and apply for a, "REAL ID," (rendering all other IDs fake), I see
> > where a dictatorship has its advantages.  There definitely is a
> trade-off,
> > however. With a dictatorship we don’t have much choice about who it is
> that
> > will be fucking us over and it wouldn’t be only for four years at a time.
> > Plus, since a dictatorship obviates the need and function of all the
> > representation business, eliminates the slow grinding years of the houses
> > of Congress, the courts slogging through the proper protocol and
> > appropriate channels procedural crap, there would be a lot of people out
> of
> > jobs and what would we all do with the extra time?  Actually, not as much
> > of a problem as you might at first think.  The dictator in chief would
> tell
> > us what to do with the time and what not do with the time.  And I guess a
> > lot of that extra time would go to the, "run and hide," protocol.
> > >
> > >    So I made my appointment with the DMV online.  The deadline was my
> > birthday (coming right up, folks) and I went online in April.  That’s
> > roughly four months in advance.  I know, excessive early bird behavior,
> but
> > I thought it a good idea at the time.  The earliest appointments
> available
> > for the branch office closest to me were after my birthday.  I had to
> hunt
> > around for an available appointment that would happen before my driver’s
> > license expired. That is what brought me to El Cerrito at 3:00 pm on the
> > 11th, only one and a quarter business days before my birthday.  So I have
> > dived into the belly of the monster and without having been digested, I
> > accomplished my task and escaped to tell the tale.
> > >
> > > There’s more.  But you’re tired.  I’ll give you time to read (or not
> > read; it will take time not to read) all that.  Then I’l slap the rest on
> > you.
> > >
> > >
> > > Sunday, and Mom is organizing her pills for the next week. She is 99
> > now. Tomorrow I’ll be 72. WTF!
> > >
> > >
> > > Love,
> > >
> > > Tobie
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Variety is the spice of life.  Lack of variety is the spouse of life.
> >  THS
> > >
> > >
> > > Tobie Shapiro
> > > mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net <mailto:tobie at shpilchas.net>
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
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