TheBanyanTree: Because Paul Asked Nicely

[Pam Lawley]

The older I get, the more I love my dog...

Seriously.  As an 'adult' I've had a few pets, but now I don't think that I
ever really gave them ME.

When I was married to my children's father, we drove from North Carolina to
New Hampshire to rescue a Newfoundland - for him.  He'd had some before and
wanted another.  DeeDee was living in rescue on a farm and became just
another horse.  She ate carrots and apples whole!  If the horses got one,
she wanted one as well!

She'd had her vocal cords cut and I was appalled!  How in the world could
somebody do that to a big dog?!  (I've since owned big dogs who barked and
while I wouldn't do that, I can see why somebody could.)   It's not like
she was a 'yappy' Chihuahua, right?!?!  So DeeDee had a gruff sounding
squeak.  And she became MY dog...  I was pregnant with Molly and smoking on
the sly.  Every evening we'd go for a walk with the cigarette that I
sneaked out of the house.

(Side note:    looking back now I don't see how he didn't know I was
smoking, or maybe he just chose to pretend... anyway)

She attached herself to me and I loved her.

And then I did a tour on the Drill Field.  That involved schooling in South
Carolina and then a move to Parris Island.  My husband came down to the
class behind mine and we began 2 1/2 years of long hours at work.  DeeDee
was not impressed as it turns out.  Our house had a screened in back porch
and she crashed through it more than once.  She absolutely didn't like
being left alone and so we decided to move her back to NC to live with my
sister.  She only lived another year, and when she died my sister had her
buried in the local pet cemetery.

(Another side note:  nobody buries their pets there anymore and that strip
of ground is pretty overgrown.  There are apartments built next door and
you have to know that it was there to know it is there.  Recently my sister
was in town [because now she's moved away and I've moved back] and she went
in search of DeeDee's grave.  She had to find somebody to ask, and
eventually she located it - and texted me a photo!  In the 20 years since
I've been back, after initially visiting, I don't remember even stopping
there again.)

While married to my second husband, we 'adopted' a Great Dane.  Mr. Banks.
Technically, it wasn't an "adoption", but a woman had him listed in the
paper for $100 because he needed a new home since she was going to breed
Chihuahuas!  whatever.)

Banks was awesome and behaved and quite the gentleman.  But when that
divorce happened, he went with his dad.  Eventually I got visitation, and
the morning that he went to be put down, I got to hug him good-bye.

I 'loved' those dogs and I was sad to see them go, but... maybe because
there was already physical distance between us?!  I really didn't grieve
for them?  I'm not sure how to explain it.

My third husband (yes!  don't judge!!) and I got another Great Dane.  He
had them growing up, and of course I'd experienced the breed as well.
Annie was a great dog, even if she was neurotic and anxious!  When she was
a couple of years old we got a second Dane.  He was adorable and sweet -
and a total spaz!  So when THAT marriage broke up (don't judge!!), we each
kept a dog, and I got Annie.

Annie was a stay-at-home kind of dog - she freaked in cars and was afraid
to even jump in.  If we went somewhere, I had to help her up.  I had
visions of us hanging out together and going places, but she wasn't having
any of that!  But evidently, while staying home and taking walks, we must
have seriously formed some kind of bond.

In January of this year I found out that she had an aggressive form of bone
cancer that would spread.  We discovered this when a big lump formed on her
'ankle'.  She'd been limping and it didn't go away with 'routine' meds.  We
tried that first because x-rays would involve the trauma of putting her
under to get her to the machine.  And she HATED the vet's office and the
car ride to get there.

I decided I wouldn't put her through the additional trauma of having her
leg amputated only to add a year.  It would have been a year of vet visits
and learning to walk without a front leg (she was a 150 pound Dane)...  I
couldn't prolong her life just to keep me happy.  We decided to continue a
vigorous course of meds and just wait.

The wait wasn't long.  A week later she ran the fence line playing with the
neighbor's Chihuahua (I have typed that word three times in this post!!!)
and (we think) broke the fragile bone that was cancerous.  Because then she
could put no weight on her leg and was hopping around on three.  So I made
the decision.  Arrangements were made for the vet to come to our house, and
my sister came with her friend whose business is pet cremations.  They were
going to take Annie with them.

That day I finally GOT IT.  I held my trembling dog (because she knew who
the vet was the minute she walked in and the shaking started!!) in my arms
while the drugs were administered, and I petted her as she took her last
breaths.  And *I* was traumatized...  I cried for days when my puppy
died...

And immediately made the decision to get another dog!!  By then it was just
me in the house and there was plenty of room for a puppy who needed a home
and a mom!

I have a great friend (who I actually met twenty-some-odd years ago on the
Spoon!) who met Banks and fell in love with the breed and who has herself,
in the years since, adopted a few!  And now she knows the women who run the
Rescue in the western part of the state!  (What goes around...)  She put in
a good word for me and they allowed me to adopt!  Who-hoo!!

A month to the day that Annie died, I went to Charlotte and adopted Axel.
What a sweet, sweet boy!!  He came into rescue from an abusive situation
and he has the scars to prove it.  But he is my shadow.  He LOVES a car
ride and 'loads up' on command and would rather go and wait in the car than
stay home!!  He loves a walk, he loves a nap, and he loves his mom!

What he doesn't like is to be left alone.  I think it makes him a little
anxious.  So he paces the house and "rearranges" stuff.  If I leave
something on the kitchen counter, then I'm probably going to find it on the
floor in the bedroom or the living room.  Loaf of bread?!  Bag of
potatoes?  Empty cake taker?  Moved.  I try very hard to remember to keep
the counters clear and hide anything I can't put away.

Or he'll chew the backs off of picture frames.  he's probably gotten a
dozen of them!  I used to have shelves with an eclectic assortment of
photos and frames all over the house.  I recently had cause to do some
redecorating and all that's changed now.  I gotta remove the temptations!

Yes, he has a crate.  And baskets full of toys and chew bones.  He just
prefers frames thankyouverymuch!!

Maybe because my kids are grown and moved out, maybe because I've gone
through all the husbands I'm going to, but my life is now all about my
dog.  If I can't take Axel I really don't want to go.  He has to be home
alone all day while I work and I hate to leave him in the evenings at all.
We LOVE the cool weather because it means he can go.  The hot summer
sucked!!

Anyway.... I really love this dog...

Pam