TheBanyanTree: Stories

[Monique Colver]

Aw shucks.

I'm reading The Chaneysville Incident right now -- and I think, "now
there's some writing!"


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Monique Colver
Colver Business Solutions
www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
monique.colver at gmail.com
(425) 772-6218


On Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 1:27 PM, auntiesash <auntiesash at gmail.com> wrote:

> Your story about stories reveals more than many people can in a story.
> (that sentence worked in my head...)
>
> sash
>
>
> On Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 10:48 AM, Monique Colver <monique.colver at gmail.com
> >wrote:
>
> > If I ask you for your story, will you tell me? Or will you look at me as
> if
> > I'd lost my mind, because who does that?
> >
> > If I tell you my story, will you accept it for what it is, or will you
> feel
> > pity? I can see pity, whether you say it out loud or keep it inside. You
> > can't hide it.
> >
> > If I tell you that mostly I don't know why I'm living, will you back away
> > and go look for more pleasant stories?
> >
> > We don't tell our stories because we don't trust that the person we're
> > telling them to will not only keep our stories safe, but will not use
> them
> > for their own purposes. We don't trust that you'll look at us
> differently,
> > if you really knew.
> >
> > We tell as much as we can bear, and then we pull back, because there's a
> > chance we may tell too much, and we don't want to tell anyone else parts
> of
> > our story because if we do, it might be true, and then we can't ignore it
> > any longer. Best to let sleeping dogs lie and not disturb the dark
> things.
> >
> > Some don't have darkness, they don't have secrets, and they're happy to
> > tell all they know. But is it? How can we know? What if they don't know
> > their own story, and so what we hear isn't the story at all, but what
> > they've told themselves is the story?
> >
> > We can never really know what the story is. A simple recitation of the
> > facts isn't a story, it's not the core, it's not what makes us who we
> are.
> > The date I was born and the circumstances of my birth do not tell anyone
> > who I am. What can tell you who I really am? Only I know everything about
> > me, and I'm abnormal in the oversharing department. Most people are far
> > more private, because who can we really trust? Or they don't want anyone
> to
> > know, and they have their own reasons, whatever they are.
> >
> > I do some online support of people with depression. Not enough to matter,
> > but it matters to me. They don't like to tell their stories because when
> > they do, people pull back, or tell them what to do to fix it, when it's
> not
> > easily fixed, not like that, not from someone who doesn't know. They
> don't
> > like to tell their stories because of the looks that they get, the looks
> > that are supposed to be laden with compassion but instead come across as,
> > "you poor fool, you," a sentiment that is not helpful.
> >
> > People as a general rule want to be connected to other people, but when
> we
> > have to hide how we feel we're not connecting, we're just passing by.
> We're
> > constantly encouraged to be happy, to look at the positive side of
> things,
> > to remember these important life lessons, but people don't work that way.
> > People don't dispel long standing depression by only thinking happy
> > thoughts.
> >
> > Here's my story: When I'm alone at night and my husband is out of town, I
> > wish there was someone I could call, I wish there was someone who gave a
> > crap that I was alone and not liking it, but there isn't. I wish someone
> > would come watch a movie with me, or go out for a drink with me, but
> there
> > isn't, not here. Sure, if I lived there, or there, or there, but I don't.
> >
> > It's not the whole story. It's just part of the story.
> >
> > What I hear from depressed people is that no one reaches out to them to
> see
> > how they are. Perhaps they've exhausted all their avenues. Perhaps no one
> > really cares. I don't know them well enough to know. But I tell them that
> > we still have to reach out and make the effort, because if they won't
> come
> > to us, we have to make the effort.
> >
> > And then I don't because I'm not certain anyone would care, and I'd
> rather
> > not find that out.
> >
> > But I tell them that anyway because any little bit we can do to reach out
> > decreases the possibility that somewhere someone is waiting too.
> >
> > And sometimes I do, and sometimes it's okay and sometimes it's not.
> >
> > People are more than stories. Stories are a start, but we're far more
> than
> > the stories that we tell.
> >
> >
> > m
> >
>
>
>
> --
> "I didn't need you, you idiot. I picked you. And then you picked me back."
> -- John Green <https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1406384.John_Green>,
> *Paper
> Towns*
>