TheBanyanTree: A Life Lived Online

[Linda DeMerle]

Don't know that you can figure out God, otherwise, why need God?  The name kinda commits God to a higher place, or at least implies it.

I liked your story, Jim, and I have had similar moments…been the recipient of a miracle or two, so said my Boston doctors.  It happens.  I think where I am, now, is that the older I get, the more I realize how little I know and I feel that if I can figure God out, then he isn't much of one, and then there is the question of faith.  If you have it all figured out, where is the need for faith and without faith, things can get pretty damned dark.

I'm the first to say that just because I think something doesn't make it right, which is why I was a flop in the evangelical and Pentecostal churches.  Much less pressure when I returned to Catholicism.  It's more than okay to be unsure and nobody hands you your a**.

By the way, I'm guessing you have figured out that there are a lot of people who refer to themselves as Catholics because their parents or grandparents were, but whom do not actually practice any faith. Their kind of like Junior Mints…a candy coating and not much else.  Having said that, I LOOOOVE Junior Mints.  :)

Yeah, don't we all fall short?  Part of the job description: human.

L


On Dec 3, 2013, at 6:56 PM, Jim Miller <jim at maze.cc> wrote:

> On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 11:01 AM, Linda DeMerle <Twigllet at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
>> my views on prayer may differ wildly from some schools which guarantee
>> that if one asks God to do something, it is automatically fixed.  If that
>> were true, nothing terribly awful would happen to us.
> 
> 
> I'd like to ad my story. First, don't throw caring platitudes at me. I
> don't want them, nor do I need them. I always know if you really care, or
> are simply repeating the mantra you think is appropriate. If I tell someone
> that I'm praying for them, I feel responsible for making good on my
> commitment. I don't do that often, because I don't want it personally. So
> Monique, if I tell you that I'll pray for you; well . . . . . Sorry; you're
> gonna get it.
> 
> My story. I'm not always proud of the person that I am. That is probably a
> guilt complex embedded in my youth. I've tried to exorcise most of those.
> It ain't easy. With that said, Linda and I both consider ourselves persons
> of Strong Faith. We both grew up in Pentecostal churches; frequently known
> as the Holy Rollers. The stories I can tell.  We haven't attended church
> regularly in about 20 years. I have since denounced God-Favors-On-Demand. I
> referred to it as dialing 1-800-DearGod. We lean to more traditional
> doctrines, such as Presbyterian. I think I could be a more devout Catholic
> than most of the Catholics I know. But I digress:
> 
> In late July 2004, when I was living in the Hospital, waiting for a
> transplant; I knelt down one morning for a word with God. I knew that
> without a donor heart, I may only live moments to 3-4 weeks at most. I was
> at complete peace. I prayed; "God, I can't see the big picture, but I
> believe that you have a plan. I believe that my life has purpose, even if I
> can't see it. I am submitted completely to your will. Amen." Unknown to me
> until weeks later; at almost the exact same time, Linda prayed. Her pray
> went something like this; "Dear God, I can't take this any longer. We need
> a heart, and we need it now." Two days later, my surgeon walked into my
> room and announce, "We have a donor heart." And, as they say, the rest is
> history. Go figure.
> 
> Jim