TheBanyanTree: A Life Lived Online

[Monique Colver]

Yeah, let's magic it away.

I don't think it sounds lame. I think it sounds thoughtful and nice.
Comforting. I just can't do it myself. If anyone were to pray for me, I'd
thank them for thinking of me. Apparently, so my father-in-law says, and he
IS a lawyer, praying is what we all need to do, and God will give us what
we ask for. Or he won't, but He has his reasons. Heck, my mother-in-law was
cured of cancer! She knows she had cancer because she FELT IT, and then she
felt it leave her. All because she prayed.

I also think my in-laws are full of crap, so take that for what it's worth.


We all do what works best for us.




*We appreciate your referrals!*

Monique Colver
Colver Business Solutions
www.colverbusinesssolutions.com
monique.colver at gmail.com
(425) 772-6218


On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 11:01 AM, Linda DeMerle <Twigllet at gmail.com> wrote:

>
>
> What a great story!
>
> I have also noticed how, when things go south, people tend to pull
> together.  Compassion, I think it may be called, or something like that.
>
> People told my mother to imagine white light surrounding her and her
> cancerous lungs and she could will it to go away.  Three weeks later, she
> was dead, so it either backfired or just plain didn't work.
>
> I don't like to tell people I am praying, usually, because I know how lame
> it sounds to people who don't believe.  So, while it may mean something to
> the sayer, I don't see how it comforts the one needing comforting, but I do
> say it when I can't come up with anything  more eloquent, because I do
> think of people and their sorrows, although my views on prayer may differ
> wildly from some schools which guarantee that if one asks God to do
> something, it is automatically fixed.  If that were true, nothing terribly
> awful would happen to us.  Mostly, I meditate on being able to accept
> things which happen and that certain people will open their minds and grow.
> When it comes right down to it, I think the truth is that I don't expect
> prayer to work until what others are praying for happens, and then I am not
> only surprised, but a little ashamed.  But, heck, I don't have a crystal
> ball, as doctors love to say.
>
> Anyway, distress begs for consolation.  You're really very good at that.
>
> xox
> L
>
>
> On Dec 3, 2013, at 1:17 PM, Monique Colver <monique.colver at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Not mine, of course, though it may seem like it.
> >
> > I'm on this list. Not this list, another list. I've been on there for
> years
> > -- it's for people in my profession -- bookkeepers, accountants, CPA's,
> > EA's, etc. I've been on there for so long that after my surgery in the
> > distant past a group from the list sent me flowers. Some of us have met,
> > some of us are friends, some of us are friends but haven't met yet.
> >
> > There's a guy on the list. There's always a guy. He shares everything
> > that's going on with his life, and many people find him insufferable not
> > from the sharing, but because he's often a key troublemaker when
> political
> > discussions go awry. There aren't supposed to be any political
> discussions,
> > but they pop up now and then. He's annoying enough with his
> pronouncements
> > that I've considered switching sides merely because I don't like being on
> > his side.
> >
> > But that's a pretty weak excuse for switching my political persuasion,
> so I
> > haven't. But this guy . . . he was a history major in college, so he's
> > certain he knows everything and those who disagree with him are
> > fearmongerers (?) and not paying attention. And when it's pointed out to
> > him that he's often the problem, he doesn't get it, his level of
> > comprehension often being not as much as is required.
> >
> > A couple of years ago he shared that he had a girlfriend, Shannon, and
> that
> > they were going to get married.
> >
> > He kept us apprised of their march toward the altar. Many wished him
> well.
> >
> > He keeps us notified of scifi marathons and classic radio shows. He talks
> > about how well done some tv shows are, like the Walking Dead (which I've
> > never seen, despite my love of zombies).
> >
> > He told us of a car accident he was in where the other driver, who had
> > caused the accident, was killed. That shook him up.
> >
> > He told us when he married Shannon.
> >
> > Then Shannon got pregnant! While some of us may have thought, "poor kid,"
> > we congratulated him.
> >
> > He talked of his wife often, and her pregnancy.
> >
> > He emailed me once and asked if my book would offend his wife. She's a
> > psychiatric nurse and he thought I might be in the business of bashing
> > people in the industry. He's oblivious to what goes on around him in the
> > wider world. I told him I didn't know if it would offend her, or if she'd
> > like it, that I really couldn't tell him. So he didn't buy the book, and
> no
> > big deal to me. It was just a strange question, I thought.
> >
> > Shannon got transferred to a remote location, as if West Virginia itself
> > weren't remote enough. Now they were moving to a remoter place.
> >
> > He wrote about his struggle with his business, how he didn't know how to
> go
> > remote with his clients, and he kept asking the same marketing questions
> > year after year until some people threw up their hands in impatience.
> >
> > The baby was born, and he often talked of taking care for her while he
> was
> > working.
> >
> > The baby's not yet a year old.
> >
> > And Shannon, a lifelong nonsmoker, was diagnosed with lung cancer, and
> they
> > couldn't fix it, they could only slow it down.
> >
> > And this guy is faced with losing his wife and having a small baby who
> > won't remember much of her mother.
> >
> > The other day she went to the hospital to have her lungs drained, and
> they
> > found more cancer they hadn't known about.
> >
> > They're getting a second opinion.
> >
> > Meanwhile, people send emails telling him they can beat it if they will
> > just think positively.
> >
> > We're a stubborn people, us humans. That's probably a good thing, but if
> I
> > ever get cancer, which is likely with my family history, and people tell
> me
> > that I can just think it away, I'm likely to virtually smack them upside
> > the head.
> >
> > I've never smacked anyone anywhere except in self-defense, so that's
> really
> > not likely. I'm more talk than bite.
> >
> > I can't add to the chorus of "We're praying for you!" because I don't do
> > that, but I can hope her cancer goes into spontaneous remission and then
> > goes away by magic. I hope the same for another friend on the east coast
> > who also has a terminal lung cancer. And another friend's daughter on
> that
> > same list, who has been fighting cancer for six years. It just keeps
> > getting worse and they've removed much of her. She has three children,
> two
> > of them not much older than the cancer. They're all young, all these
> women.
> >
> > We're no longer bound by geography, by a closeness in knowing people
> > face-to-face. We live in a world where Don's sadness can be shared with a
> > group of people all over the US and Canada, some of whom don't care for
> > him, but when someone's faced with the horrible things that happen in
> life
> > that doesn't matter so much. We're all of us united against the common
> > enemy. We hope for the best for those we know, even if they've annoyed us
> > in the past. We can transcend social constructs and meaningless barriers
> if
> > we just listen.
> >
> > M
>
>