TheBanyanTree: Another Story From My Kitchen

[Jodene]

Very funny story, well told!

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 20, 2011, at 6:51 PM, Pam Lawley <pamj.lawley at gmail.com> wrote:

> I like to bake.  I like to bake new and different - sort of  
> difficult -
> recipes.  Big, juicy cakes with lots of ingredients... not really
> "complicated", but not super-easy.  Okay, sometimes those
> 'throw-all-the-dry-ingredients-in-and-add-the-wet-stuff-and-mix'  
> recipes are
> kind of effective too!  But I like surfing the net and looking for new
> recipes.  I've built myself a binder of those recipes I've printed  
> out, and
> sometimes I flip through and see one and think, 'oh, that was GOOD!  I
> should make it again!' - and then I go find a new one!
>
> A couple of weeks ago I made a big cake for a co-workers wedding  
> rehearsal
> dinner, and I put a mousse filling in between the layers.  I hear  
> the cake
> was tasty, but I wondered about that mousse sitting out for a couple  
> of
> days.  So when I was making another big cake for a
> non-co-worker-but-my-son's-girlfriend's-father-who-also-works-for- 
> the-government
> (who'd requested it for his 'Employee Appreciation Luncheon), I went  
> surfing
> for another filling recipe.  And I found this:
> http://www.oprah.com/food/Three-Layer-Chocolate-Cake-with-Blackout-Filling
>
> I thought the filling sounded perfect, so I printed out the whole  
> recipe!
>
> The filling had to be cooked and then allowed to cool, and then
> refrigerated.  But I found that when I went to actually spread it  
> that it
> was pretty darned hardened.  Hmmm...  not a problem - I just nuked  
> it for a
> few seconds and it softened up just enough to work great!  Because I  
> was
> spreading it between two 14" layers, I'd doubled the recipe and I  
> had just
> enough!  (And I hear that cake was pretty tasty too!)
>
> Meanwhile, a wonderful friend had sent me a cookbook by this chick:
> http://www.bakerella.com  and I'd tried my hand at making her cake  
> balls.
> Bakerella suggested just making a boxed cake and using canned  
> frosting.  I
> really, really detest canned frosting!!  While I HAVE been known to  
> use a
> boxed cake mix occasionally when I was going to spend time  
> decorating a
> cake, the frosting from a can just does not deserve to be called  
> frosting in
> my very humble opinion.  But I bought a can to make the balls.
>
> They turned out pretty good, though my decorating artisticness is  
> NOTHING
> close to hers!  But they were fun, and it was a first try, and I got  
> to play
> with colored candy melts and sprinkles!
>
> And then I had a brainstorm!  I could try the balls again, but  
> instead of
> the cake I'd make up a batch of that chocolate filling that hardened  
> so
> well, roll that into balls, and then do the decorating, etc...  They'd
> actually be more like candy - and I'd even use real chocolate  
> instead of the
> colored melts!!  Or, I could use some of the leftover-from-the-first- 
> time
> melts to decorate with!  I had big plans!!  So I made a QUADRUPLE  
> batch of
> the filling so I'd have plenty!!
>
> Not surprisingly, with so many great plans, when I made it the  
> second time
> it didn't harden up quite so nicely!!  Obviously something with the  
> heat in
> cooking.  Or something.
>
> Okay, not a problem!  I'd make up a chocolate boxed mix real quick,  
> and then
> I'd use the filling in place of the canned frosting!  Which I did,  
> and it
> worked out okay though I really don't think that it tasted all that
> different from the first batch with (e-gads!!) canned frosting!  I  
> probably
> could have added more filling, but I didn't want it to be too mushy,  
> which
> is something Bakerella's book warned about.  And I surfed the web to  
> find
> out how best to make chocolate candy coating.  Actually Hershey's  
> website
> told me how - but I think I shouldn't have listened.  As it turned  
> out, and
> I figured this out talking to another co-worker (hey!  the  
> government hires
> a LOT of people!), I should have added just a bit of paraffin to  
> keep it
> hardened so it wouldn't melt when I touched it!  Because I was  
> trying to be
> all creative and artsy - but as soon as I went near the coating it  
> melted!
> Bummer.
>
> But again, not a problem.  I figured to just treat them like a  
> 'truffle',
> and that I should run to Michael's to get some of those cute little  
> paper
> 'cups' to hold each piece.  And then it dawned on me (I LOVE it when  
> that
> happens!) - probably I could save myself the trip and just use the  
> some of
> the STACKS of mini-cupcake papers I have!!  Viola!  (I always think  
> of sash
> when I type that word though that has nothing to do with my story!)   
> I have
> developed something of a cupcake baking cups fetish and I have  
> HUNDREDS in
> my cabinet - for 'regular' cupcakes, and for minis!  Purple paisley  
> ones,
> purple shiny ones, purple polka-dotted ones...  Turns out they  
> worked just
> perfectly, and my Tupperware container looked like a very pretty box  
> of
> candies!!
>
> As it turns out though, I hardly used any of the quadrupled batch of
> filling!  What to do, what to do... I finally figured it out - I'd  
> make the
> whole cake from the recipe!!  yeah!  It did look pretty darned tasty  
> and
> all...  Since I already had the filling ready to go, yesterday I  
> made the
> frosting so it could refrigerate overnight, and this afternoon I  
> planned to
> come home from work and make the cake.  It's become a habit with me  
> - Monday
> nights I'm usually baking something.
>
> I had to run by the grocery store first though.  I'd perused the  
> recipe and
> I knew it called for brown sugar and sour cream, and I didn't have  
> either.
> I usually have about a bag's worth of brown sugar in the cabinet,  
> but I
> remembered that it was running precariously low so I bought two more  
> bags.
> It wasn't until I was measuring it out that I realized it called for  
> DARK
> brown sugar!  Ack!!  Three cups of it, and all I had was light.  So, I
> googled the difference, and everything pretty much said it didn't  
> make a
> difference in the outcome, that it might just taste a little  
> different.
> Then, when I realized that I didn't have any 'regular' cocoa, just  
> dark
> chocolate, I decided that it would work out even on the flavor!
>
> I was trying to be organized and neat, so I was laying everything  
> out and
> measuring and sifting before I started.  I'd greased and papered the  
> pans so
> they were ready.  The recipe called for a cup and half of hot water,  
> so I'd
> measured it in a glass cup and set it in the microwave to be ready  
> to heat
> when I needed it.  Most all recipes call for eggs to be added one at  
> a time,
> but this called for first mixing the eggs with the vanilla and then  
> adding
> it in two parts.  That was ready to go.  I had cocoa and cake flour  
> sifted
> and sitting on pieces of waxed paper.  When everything was in its  
> place, I
> preheated the oven and got started.
>
> The recipe had printed out in two pages - one listed all the  
> ingredients,
> the other had the directions.  And I had to go back and forth with  
> each part
> of the directions.  I was being VERY careful and conscientious and
> re-reading everything to ensure I didn't screw anything up.  (HA!)   
> That's
> how I found out that it was NOT calling for a teaspoon of baking  
> soda but a
> TABLESPOON!  I was pretty darned proud of myself for catching  
> that!!   Even
> though I had my "old lady glasses" on, I was still basically only  
> working
> with one eye so I was being really careful!!
>
> The batter mixed up thick and fluffy and dark!  Yum!  I evenly  
> spooned it
> into the prepared pans and put them into the oven!  This is the  
> first time
> I've actually used three layer pans in my new oven and all three  
> fit!  Yay!!
> I set the timer and cleaned up the kitchen.  The recipe said 30-33  
> minutes,
> until the cake pulled away from the sides of the pan.  At 30 minutes  
> I used
> a toothpick to check - just in case.  I thought three more minutes  
> would be
> fine.  While it looked like the cakes were indeed pulling away from  
> the
> pans, it didn't really look like the layers had risen very much.   
> All three
> looked a little flat in fact.  And, after I'd removed them to cool,  
> well
> those babies looked downright sunken!!  With my husband and son's  
> girlfriend
> (her name is Katie) looking on, I told them both that I had followed  
> the
> directions EXACTLY and that they must have been supposed to look  
> like that
> because *I* had done everything right!!!
>
> When I'd put the cakes into the oven, I'd removed the frosting and  
> filling
> from the fridge so they could soften up a bit to room temperature.   
> By the
> time the cakes had cooled, the filling was perfect and I slathered  
> it on
> rather thickly - trying to fill in the sunken parts!  But when I  
> went to
> frost the whole thing, the frosting was still a bit hard.  No  
> worries!  I
> knew what to do about that - just a few seconds in the microwave  
> would be
> perfect!
>
> Please try and imagine my chagrin when I opened the microwave to do  
> just
> that, and found THE MEASURING CUP WITH A CUP AND HALF OF WATER sitting
> there!!!!!  I'd already put the recipe in my binder, but I dug it  
> back out
> to read it again!!  Sure enough... right there at the end... "slowly  
> add the
> hot water"....  WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> I had ruined my cake.  It's ruined!!  It's bad!!  This is huge!!!   
> There was
> no adjusting anything at that point!!!  The cake was done and cooled  
> and
> sunken and filled.  Without that water it was probably going to be  
> pretty
> darned dry!!!!!!!!!!  Should I toss it?!?!  I had a LOT of money  
> tied up in
> chocolate and the rest of the ingredients in the dumb thing!!!
> WAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  (Sorry, I keep going back and forth on my tenses
> here...)
>
> I tried to think of something worse than ruining this cake.  Okay, so
> actually that was pretty easy.  Probably this Bell's Palsy causing  
> me to be
> one-eyed was worse than a ruined cake.  And I'd been telling myself  
> that
> even that wasn't so bad - it could have been a stroke!  And hell, if  
> we're
> going there, that probably wouldn't have been as bad as some of those
> tornadoes that killed hundreds!  Or even the one ten miles down that  
> road
> that flattened houses!  What's a sunken cake in  
> comparison?!?!?!?!?!??!
>
> Well, it's probably not much in comparison, but, in the quiet of my  
> kitchen,
> it was pretty darned sad.  I really didn't know what to do with that  
> cup of
> water in my hand.   I have had occasion to take batter back OUT of  
> the pans
> and put it back into the mixer to add something I'd forgotten, but I  
> was
> long past that now.
>
> Finally, with no better ideas, I covered the whole mess in  
> frosting.  It's
> sitting in the fridge as we speak.  It LOOKS delicious and  
> juicy!!!!!  Maybe
> I can just use it as a decoration..... Or a big hockey puck.
>
>
> Pam