TheBanyanTree: Snakes Alive!!

[Pam Lawley]

My friend Mike is a perfect example of somebody who loves and appreciates
snakes for the slimey reptiles they are!  He has taken some beautiful
photographs of the things, and I've even seen him handle one on the walking
path first hand!  But alas, for reasons totally unknown to me, I was born
with a snake phobia.  There was nothing in my youth of early years to feed
that phobia - it just was.  And still is.  I've tried through the years to
face the fear, I have.  Once I even sat down and allowed a young Marine's
'pet' Boa to crawl on my lap and around my waist.  I "petted" it with one
finger and told it that it was a "nice snakey and tried to be calm and not
breathe too deeply lest I freak the snake in any way.  I had taken most of a
day to move from across the room to actually sitting with the snake, and
then some smartass JACK ran up and yelled, "SNAKE!!", and I freaked out and
never went near the snake again!!!

Anyway, I had a very deep fear of snakes.  Deep to my core.  And then:

I walked outside earlier to my car in the parking lot, and there was a girl
about thirty feet in front of me.  Before she stepped off the sideway while
crossing to anther part of the parking lot, she stopped, turned around, and
yelled to me, "There's a snake!!"

First, I stopped too!!  Then I cautiously walked towards her and asked where
it was.  She pointed under a big white pick-up truck one row back.  I could
see a dark snake moving slowly, and a couple of times I watched his little
head lift up and 'snif' the undercarrage of the truck.  As I watched it snif
around a third time, I realized I'd been really watching the slimey thing
slithering upwards, and it disappeared!!!!!!!

The snake was now somewhere up under the truck.  Meanwhile, the girl -
Allison! - was on her cell calling back into the building to get another
co-worker to come out and de-snake the area!  (Coincidentally, just last
week this same chick was getting ready to leave our building when she saw a
snake laying on the walkway in front of the door!  They called animal
control for that one!)  So while we stood there waiting for this guy to come
out, I was feeling very creep-crawly and freaked out realizing that this
snake was somewhere unseen, and feeling VERY grateful that it wasn't MY car
it had disappeared under.  Had it been, there would have been a blue SUV for
sale in the lot!!!!!!

And then, out from under, we saw that sneaky snake stick his little head out
from between the hood and start swaying as he looked inside the windshield
of the turck!!!!!!!!  We screamed!  Then the snake - who didn't hear us
scream and who could probably have cared less!! - slithered around the side
of the windshield, over the side mirror, and then back.  Oh yeah... and
people say some snakes are harmless!  HA!  Had I been sitting in that truck
when the sweet little snake snuck his head out from under the hood and
looked at me inside...!?!?!?!??!  Can you say fatal heart attack!??!?!?!
Can you say 'dead'?!!?!?  Can you call that harmless?!?!?!?!?

And then 'helper' guy came out and 'shooed' the snake off the truck, to the
ground, and tried shooing him off into the grass.  And helper guy told us
not to fear, it was only a black snake.  That's all.  Just a sweet little
black snake trolling around for food!!  Mr. Sweet Snake was about four feet
long.  Probably had the girth of a big 'sausage dog'... probably, since I
didin't get any closer to check.  And then helper guy lost track of the
snake, and then couldn't find him again.  He said the snake MAY have gone
back up under the truck!  Sure, no problem!!

We stood there a minute or two discussing this snake who had gone under and
up that truck to come out under the hood and over to the window, and helper
guy said, 'that's why I tell people to roll their windows up!' - as I looked
over at my car with all four windows rolled down about four inches!!!!!!!!!
(It's freaking hot around here!!!!!!)  But, if I have to choose between
dying of heat exhaustion when I open the door and the heat hits, or of a
stroke when I open the door and see a snake in my seat - I'm choosing heat
any day of the year!!!

And so, with the thoughts of that sneaky, slimey, hungry snake crawling
around the white truck, I had to go to my own vehicle with the windows down
and do a  complete search.  I was afraid to stand by my vehicle and look in
lest Mr. Black Snake slither out from  underneath, and I was afraid to get
IN my vehicle lest Mr. Black Snake had beat me there!!!!  And the whole
friggin time I had the heeby-jeebies!!!!!

And now, hours later, I *STILL* have them!!!  I will never be able to take a
step in that parking lot, or get in or out of my car, without looking around
for snake relatives....

Harmless, my ass!!!  (Sorry Mikey!)

Pam