TheBanyanTree: Questions About Men

[LaLinda]

Over the past ten years or so, I have been forced to acknowledge 
patterns in the behaviors of some men.  Rather disconcerting, since 
stereotyping seems lazy and uncharitable, though I do the same with 
groups of people connected socially, as opposed to gender, such as 
fundamentalists, where my experience leads me to conclude that perhaps 
actually that becoming stereotypical may be an unintended result of the 
call to conformity, which is another thing/k, altogether

So, here is the thing: In noting the behavior of my son in the past 
couple of years, that of my husband, brothers, cousins, friends, 
ex-spouses, parents (you will not that some of these people are not 
paragons of anything good,) I see a pattern I can't well articulate.  I 
have done internet searches, but without the proper terminology, the 
results turning up are all about relationships with women and I am 
thinking about relationships with people other than men's particular 
women.  I'm thinking about men's relationships with other family 
members: children, parents, etc.  The closest I could get, in a Google 
search, was a line in an article which stated that men tend to be lazy 
when it comes to relationships. I refer to it as "out of sight, out of 
mind," which my daughter refutes because she says that even while she 
lived in the same house as her father, he never told her about his 
upcoming surgeries and medical procedures.

Specifically, what I see is a lack of interest in one's children, once 
they are out of sight, moved out, whatever, as well as parents.  Just. 
Couldn't. Care. Less.  There seems to be love there, or there once was, 
but, unless the people in question are actually IN THE ROOM, they seem 
to not be given a thought.

So, my question is...is this something peculiar to the men I know here 
in the northeast, or...do others notice 9 out of 10 men disengaged from 
family members, or even friends?  Are men solitary critters who are fine 
not speaking to or seeing family members for years at a time? 
Clarification: these are not necessarily troubled relationships, in 
fact, only one of ten which immediately come to mind could be classified 
as one.

Any thoughts?