TheBanyanTree: Into the Past

[Margaret R. Kramer]

My old journal had a few entries I wrote when Ray and I first began living
with each other.  I really loved that man right from the start.

The memories stuck with me, so I drove over to our old house.  It’s still
foreclosed, but someone cleaned up the outside, so it doesn’t look junky
now.  However, it was quiet and dark, the driveway wasn’t cleared.  It
looked lonely and unused in the middle of the block where the other homes
were busy and lighted.  That house is where Ray and I first started, but we
finished in a home much better suited for us.

As I was driving along the dark and icy streets that were so familiar to Ray
and me, I half expected him to show up along side of the road.  And I would
gladly pick him and take him back to our warm house.  But he didn’t show up,
except in my mind.  

Ray loved his video camera and it went everywhere with him.  When I cleaned
out his office, I found the videotapes and just kept them in a pile.  A
couple of months ago, I gathered them up with the intentions of taking them
into Ritz Camera and having them made into DVDs.  But I lost my job and
decided that was an “extra expense” at the moment.  

I took them into Ritz today and they’ll be DVDs by Wednesday.  I’ll force
myself to watch them.  There are a couple of videos I’d like to load up to
YouTube so I can share them with his family.  He took a video of his
mother’s funeral service back in 2002 which I know they would like to see.

Ray bought a digital camera long before I did and I have a lot of his photos
on floppy disks.  Can you believe that?  That’s why I have a floppy drive on
this computer.  I keep all of my photos on an external hard drive, so I’m
going to begin the process of downloading Ray’s photos to the hard drive so
they’re not floating around on floppies anymore.

And I drove out to the cemetery today.  The sun was brilliant, but it was
very cold.  And that means no one was there.  I love having the cemetery to
myself.  They plowed out a path in Ray’s section; I can easily walk to his
row.  But I have to follow my own footprints from last week to get to his
grave.

I drove by my grandparents’ graves, but the snow was so deep, I didn’t even
attempt to walk to them.  They’re in the middle of their section, so it
would be difficult to get to them.  Plus, they’re in an older section where
there aren’t many visitors.  Ray’s section is new and many mourners come
regularly, so paths in the snow are everywhere.

One more thing from the past . . . I bought the documentary DVD Woodstock.
I was only 14 years old when Woodstock happened, so I wasn’t in a position
to go or anything.  But watching the documentary was like stepping back into
my teenaged past.

And the music was so much better than what we listen to now.  Those people
could actually sing and play their instruments without lip syncing and
having half naked dancing girls and amazing light shows in the background.  

Do you ever watch the Grammies?  They’re not allowed to lip sync and do you
notice how awful some of those singers’ voices really are or how off-key
they sing?  That’s because technology makes them better than what they are.
Singers now only have to look good; they don’t need to have any actual
talent.

At Woodstock, there was nothing, not even a big screen TV, and yet the music
was so awesome.  And they put it together without computers and cell phones
and Facebook and MySpace.  Amazing.

Now it’s time to zoom back to the present and prepare for work tomorrow.
But I’ll never complain about Mondays again.  Having a job is a very
precious thing.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net
margaret.kramer at polarispublications.com
www.polarispublications.com
www.linkedin.com/in/margaretkramer

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a
friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire:  it is the time for home. 
-Edith Sitwell