TheBanyanTree: My World is Really Small

[Margaret R. Kramer]

Susan’s grandmother is hanging in there.  She is not in ICU.  Susan spent
part of Ray’s last weekend on this earth with me and she was with us when he
died, so I asked her if her grandmother was as bad as Ray was at the end,
and she said no.  Ray is our standard of being very sick.

It was raining this morning and you can almost hear the grass growing.  I’d
like to mow it today, but I’ll let it dry out and mow it tomorrow.  It’s
quite windy and cool today, so I baked brownies this afternoon to warm up
the kitchen a bit.  I also have spaghetti sauce simmering in the crockpot
and I baked a loaf of cheese/onion bread.

Joe and I have some wine, a Californian merlot, leftover from last night,
but I’m thinking maybe I’ll try a wine I have from Chili.  I love mixing
wine and food and experimenting with how the tastes offset each other.  I’m
becoming a real wine snob, aren’t I?

Joe and I went to the cemetery last night.  The wind was whipping through
the prairie after the rains passed and it was quite cool.  The crab apple
tree blossoms are out in full force, but I didn’t take any photos, because
it was so cloudy.  I would love to catch the blooms in the twilight sun like
I did last year, but the sun didn’t show.  We’ll see next week.

We had soup and Subway sandwiches last night before settling in to watch the
Twins come behind to beat the Kansas City Royals by two runs in 12 innings
(in the rain, in Kansas City, it was raining everywhere yesterday).  We also
switched channels to watch the LA Lakers and Oklahoma City Thunder battle
each other in the NBA playoffs.

Joe and I both hate the Lakers, so we’ll root for any team to beat them.
We’re so sick of watching Kobe Bryant lick his lips constantly.  Have you
ever noticed that?  He’s like a snake with that tongue flicking in and out
of his mouth.

And the Twins . . . well, the stars have aligned in a favorable way for them
this year.  They have their new outdoor stadium, they signed MVP Joe Mauer
for the next 5,000 years, the weather has been absolutely fabulous, and they
have a good team!  The Twins have won all their series so far this year.

We have tickets to go to Target Field in July and I can’t wait to see it.
Even Joe wants to go to a game this summer.

I walked Shadow around Como Lake yesterday and took lots of photos of ducks
and the blossoms and the lake.  There were plenty of people who also took
advantage of the stoppage of rain to sneak in a walk.

And this morning I went to the gym as usual and as usual it was crowded.
Are that many more people working out on Sundays?  I’ve never seen it like
this in the four years I’ve been going to this gym.

I got in a good workout, but I have watch myself, because sometimes I push
so hard, my heart gets a little spacey, and I get dizzy and feel like I’m
going to pass out.  I’m OK physically, I don’t have high blood pressure or
diabetes or any type of problem, but I try to push myself like I’m in my 30s
and I forget I have a 50+ year old body that has some dents and dings in it.

I sat in the sauna for a while and I was joined by a million other people,
which is uncomfortable, so I got out and took a shower.

I was just starting to get hot flashes before Ray died.  They weren’t the
force of nature they are now, when they come on suddenly during a dream, and
I wake up covered in sweat desperately throwing off the covers to cool off,
and then laying on my back until I get cold again and can slide under the
blankets and resume my dream.

I would get what I call “flashies,” quick little bursts of heat, sometimes
accompanied by sweat, and they would stop before I started stripping off my
clothes.  Whenever I had one and I happened to be sitting by him, I’d take
his hand and have him touch my sweaty skin.  He was always amazed, and would
click his tongue.

Joe is the one who is taking the brunt of them now.  He’s used to them, as I
do the covers on, covers off thing all night long.  He’s doesn’t bat an eye
when he hugs me while I’m in throes of total sweatiness.

It is funny, as disrupted as my sleep is, that I’m not tired during the day.
I had a horrible night sleeping on Friday night.  I was having nightmares
about work, because I always have the fear of losing my job, and the sweat
was pouring out of me, so I tossed and turned like a chicken over the grill
all night long.  But I wasn’t tired at all yesterday.  In fact, I stayed up
late to watch the Twins game.  Weird.  Menopause is a total mystery to me.

I heard on my favorite radio nature show this morning that we’re about two
weeks ahead of schedule for this spring.  Besides cutting the grass
tomorrow, I’ll probably start adding dirt and compost to the garden beds to
get them ready for planting.

The upcoming week is wide open for me to get things done around the garden.

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at comcast.net
margaret.kramer at polarispublications.com
www.polarispublications.com
www.linkedin.com/in/margaretkramer

Within you I lose myself...
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again.  
-Author Unknown