TheBanyanTree: Obama Reigns It In: “My mother was 18”

[LaLinda]

I’m so glad that Obama spoke up over the weekend. 
The negative reactions to a young woman’s 
pregnancy seemed odd, to me, since I don’t think 
I know of anyone whose family hasn’t been 
launched by a young woman, my own mother being 18 
and her mother in law, my grandmother, being just 
17. I could post a litany, but why be redundant?

Obviously, there are plenty of valid reasons to 
postpone parenthood, education being one of them. 
Still, sex before marriage happens and has been 
happening for 
oh, decades to start with, as evidenced by a recent survey.

The fact of the matter is that even our grandmas 
had premarital sex, based on a study released in 
2006. More than nine out of 10 of us, men and 
women, have had premarital sex, the numbers 
reaching back to women born in the 1940s. Even 
among a subgroup of those who abstained until at 
least age 20, four-fifths had had premarital sex by age 44, the study found.

“This is reality-check research,” said the 
study’s author, Lawrence Finer. “Premarital sex 
is normal behavior for the vast majority of 
Americans, and has been for decades.”

Continued below

______________________________________________________________________

<http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/01/1321281.aspx>“Families 
Off-limits”

<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16287113/>Americans 
weren't any more chaste in the past, researchers report

______________________________________________________________________
   So, why do I care, you may ask? I care because 
I have a 17 year-old son and being on our 4th 
teenager, we can tell you that even though we 
have invested blood, sweat and tears into our 
parenting, there is one little glitch between us 
and their following our example of perfection: 
free will. Yes, free-will, as young adults are 
eager to exercise. How we love to flex that 
muscle! Is it wrong? No. It’s healthy human 
nature, and that what growing up is about: 
separating from one’s parents and making 
decisions apart from them and often, apart from 
the values which have been imparted. good or bad. 
Only sixty-some years ago, 17 year-olds such as 
my father-in-law were enlisting to fight in World 
War II. Seventeen year olds are not babies. They 
are hanging 10 of the cusp of their adult lives. 
They may not be fully prepared, in this new 
century where demands seem to increase 
exponentially, but most of life is on the 
job-training. Some people never grow up and are 
walking around at 55 years old whining about how 
life is unfair. Life *is* unfair and not going to 
change in that regard. Anyway, Thank God, I say. 
Thank God for some gutsy 17 year olds who took 
hold of responsibility instead of waiting for 
Mama and Daddy to smooth things out for them. 
Without some independent 17 year-olds, I wouldn’t 
even be here. It works for me. As for our 
“start-up adults?” Just try keeping a living, 
breathing tornado in a box and see how well that 
works. We don’t want robots who obey our every 
directive, do we? We want to produce people who 
can think critically and run their own lives. Oh 
yeah, and make mistakes, just like the rest of us.



I’m so glad that Obama spoke up over the weekend. 
The negative reactions to a young woman’s 
pregnancy seemed odd, to me, since I don’t think 
I know of anyone whose family hasn’t been 
launched by a young woman, my own mother being 18 
and her mother in law, my grandmother, being just 
17. I could post a litany, but why be redundant?

Obviously, there are plenty of valid reasons to 
postpone parenthood, education being one of them. 
Still, sex before marriage happens and has been 
happening for 
oh, decades to start with, as evidenced by a recent survey.

The fact of the matter is that even our grandmas 
had premarital sex, based on a study released in 
2006. More than nine out of 10 of us, men and 
women, have had premarital sex, the numbers 
reaching back to women born in the 1940s. Even 
among a subgroup of those who abstained until at 
least age 20, four-fifths had had premarital sex by age 44, the study found.

“This is reality-check research,” said the 
study’s author, Lawrence Finer. “Premarital sex 
is normal behavior for the vast majority of 
Americans, and has been for decades.”

Continued below

______________________________________________________________________

<http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/09/01/1321281.aspx>“Families 
Off-limits”

<http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16287113/>Americans 
weren't any more chaste in the past, researchers report

______________________________________________________________________

  So, why do I care, you may ask? I care because 
I have a 17 year-old son and being on our 4th 
teenager, we can tell you that even though we 
have invested blood, sweat and tears into our 
parenting, there is one little glitch between us 
and their following our example of perfection: 
free will. Yes, free-will, as young adults are 
eager to exercise. How we love to flex that 
muscle! Is it wrong? No. It’s healthy human 
nature, and that what growing up is about: 
separating from one’s parents and making 
decisions apart from them and often, apart from 
the values which have been imparted. good or bad. 
Only sixty-some years ago, 17 year-olds such as 
my father-in-law were enlisting to fight in World 
War II. Seventeen year olds are not babies. They 
are hanging 10 of the cusp of their adult lives. 
They may not be fully prepared, in this new 
century where demands seem to increase 
exponentially, but most of life is on the 
job-training. Some people never grow up and are 
walking around at 55 years old whining about how 
life is unfair. Life *is* unfair and not going to 
change in that regard. Anyway, Thank God, I say. 
Thank God for some gutsy 17 year olds who took 
hold of responsibility instead of waiting for 
Mama and Daddy to smooth things out for them. 
Without some independent 17 year-olds, I wouldn’t 
even be here. It works for me. As for our 
“start-up adults?” Just try keeping a living, 
breathing tornado in a box and see how well that 
works. We don’t want robots who obey our every 
directive, do we? We want to produce people who 
can think critically and run their own lives. Oh 
yeah, and make mistakes, just like the rest of us.


.+'*'+.+'*'+.
              L
    *'+. .+'*
          *