TheBanyanTree: Snickers for Breakfast

[Monique Colver]

Leftover Halloween candy must be dealt with somehow, so I hide it in my
office in a secret drawer known only to me, and when no one's looking I open
the drawer, conveniently located right next to my desk, and I take out a few
pieces. This happens more frequently than it should, but not as much as it
could, so I can rationalize that it's not as bad as it seems. How we love to
feel guilty for eating things we tell ourselves we shouldn't have, as if the
guilt will somehow counteract the extra calories and sugar. What a hypocrite
I am! This is the same candy we gave out to defenseless children, small
little humans who count on those older and hopefully wiser to give them the
things they should have, and to keep from them the things they shouldn't!
Should I feel guilty for providing the neighborhood children with candy? And
what of the parents who came with them to the door? Can it be all my fault
if the parents were right there, urging them to say, "Trick or Treat!" so
we'd fork over handfuls of the sugary stuff?

So today for breakfast I had two Snickers. Not the normal size ones of
course. That would be too much, even for me, but two of the "fun size." What
makes these any more fun than the large ones? These are the sorts of
questions I ask myself, and could explain why I have so many unanswered
questions. For liquids, I am having nothing but ice water, which makes me
feel rather virtuous, though it doesn't entirely eliminate the stigma of
eating candy. It's a trade off. Welcome to my world, where trade-offs are
abundant.

Another good breakfast food is chocolate cake. I rarely have chocolate cake
for breakfast for two reasons: 1) I rarely have chocolate cake in the house,
and 2) I don't usually want chocolate cake for breakfast. But on the rare
occasions when there is both chocolate cake in the house and I want some for
breakfast, it makes a magnificent meal, especially if served with ice water.
I have many items in this category: things that are really good under
special circumstances, such as wanting the thing in question. If I don't
want it, it's entirely unsatisfactory, and my wants have the peculiar habit
of being both unpredictable and whimsical.

It's not as if I eat chocolate all the time. Sometimes I go for days without
eating chocolate and I don't even imagine myself suffering at these times.
Yet I act as if I must have chocolate daily, and even my husband, who should
know better, believes this is so. Perhaps this is because when chocolate
calls to me it is a very persistent and annoying cry, but so is a good
filling starch, or a protein, or a taco. And yet he doesn't come home and
say, "I got you a surprise!" and springs a taco on me out of the blue.

There are more pressing issues in the world today, and my preoccupation with
the mundane is not helping matters. I'd like to expand this love/hate
relationship with food so it has some relevance, but I don't have time right
now. I'm running low on Kit Kats.



-- 
Monique Colver