TheBanyanTree: On the Demise of My Cookies

[Monique Colver]

It is with great regret that I announce the consumption of my last Trader
Joe's Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie. The plastic container of cookies has
served me well this past week, providing me with sustenance during my most
trying times of trying to get numbers to balance that simply won't, and
especially during the most trying times of trying to get clients to see the
error of their ways, which they quite stubbornly refuse to do. The Cookies
were a great comfort to me and were, I hasten to add, also quite healthy,
since one of the main ingredients is, as indicated by their name, oatmeal. I
am assured that oatmeal will not only lower my cholesterol and raise my
chances of being regular, but it will also make me appear ten years younger
and keep my hair from turning grey. But I digress.

Ingredients: Chocolate chips. How can I not love something that starts off
with chocolate chips? Unbleached wheat flour. Butter(milk), which leads me
to ask, "well, which is it? Butter? or milk? Sugar, the demon substance that
is my sworn enemy, and which I consume in vast quantities anyway. Oatmeal,
brown sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking soda, salt, just like my oatmeal
chocolate chip cookies. And last, but not least: "Made on equipment shared
with peanuts and tree nuts." I suppose this is to serve as a warning in case
I'm allergic, but fortunately I'm not, since reading the contents only
occurred to me after the last cookie was gone, by which time it was too late
to save me from my peanut induced coma.

It is a sad day here, when the last cookie is gone, and I mourn them and
their crunchiness, my grief a weight that threatens to consume me.

Hold on. I see half a can of Pringles on the side of my desk, and they may
be my salvation. Let me go check.



-- 
Monique Colver