TheBanyanTree: I remember...

[David Seaman]

Sep. 25th, 2008 at 6:37 PM

You wake up sick one morning and don't feel like yourself. And it happens
again the next morning. It happens for a week. A few weeks. And suddenly
it's been a month. You look in the mirror and wonder what happened. I was
a vital, healthy, semi-intelligent person last month. Where did I go?

You go to a doctor and tell her how you don't feel like yourself anymore
and she give you drugs but you still don't feel like yourself. Soon you
find yourself referred by a psychiatrist to see a therapist where you sit
down and explain how you don't feel like yourself anymore. How instead of
being strong and healthy you are listless and lost. That you once were
much more functional, made decisions, took risks. They promise that you
can be that again but it doesn't happen. You are given more drugs to take
and counseled about life, happiness, and disappointment. All things that
you already are aware of.

One morning you look in the mirror and it's been over a year. The person
you remember becomes 'that person', and you haven't seen that person in so
long that you really really miss him like a long lost brother. That person
is no where to be found anymore. He went away, and you hope you didn't
make him mad somehow. You hope he remembers you the same way you remember
him, cause you liked him a lot. You have almost given up on ever seeing
him again and wonder if you would even recognize that person.

Dave