TheBanyanTree: Death of 2006/Roger

[LLDeMerle]

At 07:47 PM 1/1/2007, you wrote:
>Huh??  You guys are a 'they' because I don't agree with you, but I will
>honor the decision.  And I have nothing whatsoever to so with the decisions.
>As a member it is up to me to obey, that's all, or I can leave if I so
>desire.  I do not desire.  The decisions are made by the leaders and not by
>the community.  The moderators made those decisions, not I.  I will respect
>their positions and their rules and follow them.
>
>S


With respect, I'd just like to comment on "they/we/us/them." 
Recently, I watched an interview with Bono and The Edge of U2 by 
David Fanning.  Most of the interview focused on political and 
humanitarian issues.  I was impressed when Bono took a hard turn and 
said that when we fall into the "us and them trap," we sacrifice our 
opportunity to work together in a cooperative effort and make actual 
progress. He spoke about not being bitter with those we differ with, 
but to decide to do accomplish something, shelve the bickering and 
get on with it.  Not long after that, one of our kids, a deep 
thinker,  pointed out how the us vs. them mentality is not only 
non-productive, but destructive and rather narcissistic.  As long as 
we keep spinning our wheels in the mud, which, admittedly is kind of 
fun, we are wasting time which could be better used making an actual 
difference.

There is always so much to be unhappy about.  Venting our political 
gripes does not win people to our "side," but, instead, pushes them 
further away.,  It's impossible to work together when we are shoving 
each other away from one another.  It's like 2 horses trying to pull 
a wagon in opposite directions.  It just doesn't work. It's true that 
some people are more interested in being heard as opposed to putting 
their heads down and doing what needs to be done.  It's not glamorous 
and doesn't do much for the ego, but I can tell you that as a parent, 
now on my 4th teenager, venting, ranting or using harsh words has 
never, ever, gotten any of them to do what I want them to.  Being 
kind, considerate of their feelings and reasonable has, however, been 
a great success.