TheBanyanTree: New Year's BubbaQ

[Woofie]

 Yesterday was the annual NY BubbaQ at the WoofDen. A large number of
  our favorite loony mates attended:) It was also a kosher event, as I
  made potato latkes...now they all want the recipe! We also managed to
  score a new loony friend. That's cuz Linda, who is an auditor
  (though we don't hold that against her...much) has a new bf, Kim.

  "If you think my occupation is bad, Kim's is really shocking!" Linda
  sez.

  "Wot?" we replied, "What could possibly be worse than being in
  auditor?..an undertaker...a dentist....???"

  "He's a multinova operator," she announces in hushed tones.

  For the unwashed ignorant masses amongst youse...ie the non
  Aussies..multinova cameras is speed cameras...they is the cameras
  wot hides in bushes (or hand held out of unmarked cop cars) and
  captures cars wot is speeding.

  Next to the sports of football, making fun of politicians and other
  national leaders as well as drinking sports, the favorite Aussie
  sport is attacking multinova cameras.

  These cameras are a seriously endangered species in Australia...they
  tend to suffer the most bizarre accidents...well..they suffer
  bizarre fates in Wozland..dunno about the rest of Orstralia.

  When they was first introduced, the cameras' operators used ter
  stand them near the edge of the road. This made them easy prey for
  passing cars, who sideswiped them whenever they saw them. As these
  cameras cost a small fortune, the operators learned to place them a lot
  further back from the road edge and usually behind a solid object.
  This meant that any avenging vehicle would hit the solid object like
  a tree, before hitting the camera.

  However, this just made Wozlanders more determined to capture their
  prey....

  So, on meeting our first real live captive speed camera operator, we
  had lots of questions to put to him:

  "Were you the camera operator, whose camera was snitched by an
  enraged female driver,who subsequently threw the camera over a
  bridge into the Swan River?" we laughed.

  "Was your camera the one that was hijacked by a madly pedalling
  bicyclist, who pedalled off into the setting sun, never to be seen
  again?" we giggled.

  "No", gasps Linda, who is choking with laughter, "Much worse than
  those incidents...his was *snortle..snuffle..snicker..giggle* set
  alight!!!!"

  "Yeah," sez Kim, "Someone set fire to mine and it just happened to
  be the day that I did not have a fire extinguisher in the truck. I
  had to call for help and next thing I know is half a dozen cop cars
  come roaring down the road, as well as a fire engine, to put out one
  tiny fire!"

  Not only are the cameras prized game for hunters, but the signs the
  operators put up "You have just passed a speed camera" about 50
  meters past the camera, as well. One of our other yobbo friends has
  managed to err acquire one of these signs, but is rather cagey about
  the method of acquisition..

  "Yeah," sez Kim, "We are now instructed to chain them to trees, so
  they can't be stolen....though that doesn't work too well,
  either...one night someone managed to steal a sign by chopping the
  tree down that the sign was chained to..."

  And one of our less couth mates managed to completely pervert Kim by
  the end of the party...he has got Kim to come shooting, so with luck
  we will have a new club member..naturally he will only be allowed to
  shoot revolver...not any of those nasty, dirty, uncouth semi auto
  pistols *sniff!*:)

-- 
Best regards,
 Woofie ,                         mailto:woofie at woofess.com

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"Woofess is right, as usual.." maxdog (Tallahassee, FL) 27/1/98

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