TheBanyanTree: Life Stories 158

[Monique Young]

Dear Tobie,

Buying yourself something that is uncomfortable and not even accommodating
does not, I regret to tell you, count as doing something nice for yourself.
We have specific requirements as to what constitutes something "nice," and
this is not it. Admittedly, this doing something nice can be quite difficult
and time consuming, and can require much consideration. Still, it's a useful
exercise. If we don't know what to do for ourselves that is nice, how can we
know that what we do for ourselves is not nice? 

The other day I found the perfect wedding dress. I could have passed it up,
on the assumption that I'd find something equally adequate at a later date,
or on sale, or something. But this dress had just made its appearance at the
store, and therefore they weren't yet marking it down. That's right. It was
at full price. I rarely buy clothes at full price. What's the point of that?
I have a lovely dress that once retailed for $98, but when I bought it, it
had been marked down to $8. (This dress is quite useful for attending
weddings, as long as I don't have a role, and has been put to use several
times already.) This is how I shop. I go to the clearance racks first. But I
found this dress. And let me just say this right now: I am a liberated
independent female who feels that my brain is more important than my looks,
and the whole wedding dress hoopla is way out of control, and people spend
far too much money on weddings and the accoutrements than they need, and
it's not like we're living in the medieval ages when being a princess was
the height of ambition, but there is this: when I put on that dress, I felt
like a princess. So I bought it. And as wedding dresses go, it was quite
reasonable, since it's not technically a wedding dress at all. But I was
being nice to myself. And you know what? It's not such a bad thing. 

-----Original Message-----
From: thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com
[mailto:thebanyantree-bounces at lists.remsset.com] On Behalf Of Tobie Shapiro
Sent: Wednesday, February 21, 2007 8:07 AM
To: The Banyan Tree
Subject: TheBanyanTree: Life Stories 158

February 21, 2000000000007


Dear Collection,

	My divorce support group assigned me the 
awful task of doing something nice for myself 
between meetings.  Something nice.  Anything, as 
long as it was nice.  And I was asked by our 
great leader, "What will you promise to do for 
yourself?"  I came up blank.  Honest to God, I 
couldn't think of anything nice to do for myself. 
It sounds a little absurd right now, but that's 
the way it was.  So, all week I've been looking 
for the opportunity to do something "nice" for 
myself, and I was inspired at our recent trip to 
Costco while standing at the clothing bins, 
collecting pants for Meyshe, that I could 
actually buy myself a pair of pants.  Since 
moving in with my mom, I've been alternating 
between a couple, three pairs of pants.  I 
perused the bins where ladies' pants were folded 
in disturbed piles.  I found a pair of pseudo 
cargo pants.  I require plenty of pockets, so 
that looked right.  The pockets were a little 
shallow, but I thought I could handle that.  I 
got  a couple of pairs and when I got them home, 
I tried one on.  They're these low rider things. 
The waist is around the hips.  We used to call 
these, "Hip huggers," but now they are, "Low 
riders," and they are very annoying.  There is a 
drawstring which is the only thing between me 
clothed and me with my pants around my ankles. 
So I have to tie it very tight and hope the bow 
holds.  And the pockets are very short.  My right 
pocket, where I store my money, has green leafy 
bills peeping out of it.  How do people wear 
these things?

	So here's the question:  Did I do 
something nice for myself thereby satisfying the 
requirement, or do I have to go out and do 
something else?  This nice stuff has me working 
hard.