TheBanyanTree: A Parent- Damned If You Do...

[Scott Daniels]

Sally isn't at work today. Again. 
Always regular as clockwork with a really niggling habit of beating me, her boss, to work no matter how early I managed to struggle in. 
Sally is a control person of fundamentalist beliefs and zero tolerance for what some of us might see as fuzzy, gray areas. Catholic? Going to hell. Evolution? Don't fall for it - dinosaurs lived, of course. Alongside men and all other extinct animals. The Flood shuffled the geological deck. Booze? Going to hell. Floors always spotless, car the newest model. Husband does as he's told, two perfect, handsome, athletic sons protected and pushed and strictly raised from the first breath.
A couple of months ago, Sam, in his second year at college, became ill. Despite his sculpted athlete's body, he is a lifelong asthma sufferer (as is Sally), with numerous allergies (as does Sally). Mono wiped him out, sent him to the hospital, unable to breathe on his own, his throat so viciously sore he was unable to swallow. His weight dropped, and he dehydrated. 
After recovering, he had missed enough school to have to drop the rest of the year. 
And... somehow, he sees this as an complete personal failure from which he cannot recover. "My life is ruined." 
This morning he took a handful of pills. Nothing deadly, just trying to escape. 
Which makes one wonder if the escaping is only post-illness. What was Sam doing in college to deal with the pressures?

Kids need challenges. Sam has been completely sheltered and protected all his life. Some of us have had more than our share of childhood struggles, hurdles and difficulties to overcome. But I think a kid needs those things to give strength to temperament. Let them fall down. It's so hard, but sometimes, they have to bleed a little without your help.
Or when the first small bump in the road appears, the whole world caves in. 

I hope all goes well, but I have this kind of sick feeling in my stomach about it.

Scott