TheBanyanTree: I am an idiot...

[Pam North]

I hope you know that I *had* to laugh OUT LOUD at this!!!!!

On 1/27/06, Sachet <sachet at alltel.net> wrote:
>
> Some people say that my "focused" behavior has its good points.
>
> Of course, other people say that I am very anal, OCD-ish and incredibly
> stubborn and as bullheaded as a mule.
>
> Ok....
>
> Remember that we moved to North Carolina in the month of November.
> (2004) My birthday happens to be in November. When we lived in Florida
> (the land of perpetual hurricanes) our vehicle registration and license
> plate (tag) sticker renewal dates were efficiently and oh-so-helpfully
> coordinated with our birthday. Easy to remember, no hassles, kinda sucky
> to have to pay a large-ish chunk of change around your birthday, but
> such is life and county fees. They donna care.
>
> So....
>
> Two of the three family cars are registered in my name. The Nissan,
> since it used to be mine, until Chelsea took over the payments. We are
> giving her a very nice deal and she has a great dependable car for a low
> monthly payment, but it's still registered in my name. The Vue, which we
> bought last April is mine (All mine, mine, mine! First ever vehicle that
> I can say that about. Hence, the possessive excitement) and therefore
> also registered in my name. So when the fees came due in November for
> two of the cars, I assumed that since it was NOVEMBER, and MY birthday,
> that the shiny new silver and orange tag stickers and crisp new
> registration cards were for my Vue and Chelsea's Nissan. Her card said
> Nissan, 4 door and her tag & VIN numbers. "Mine" said Saturn, 4 door and
> the tag number and VIN numbers. [The third car is also a 4 door Saturn.]
>
> Now....
>
> Let me ask you. Do you have both your tag *and* VIN numbers
> memorized?????????
>
> I kinda sorta had the tag number memorized, but it's a hazy thing
> because I also have the other two car tags floating around in my head
> and since I never need mine specifically, I don't concern myself with
> it. And you can forget the VIN's! I have 3 other people's social
> security numbers and so many other numbers stockpiled in my brain, it's
> wonder I can spit any of them out in anything close to the proper order.
> Therefore, it made perfect and complete sense to me that the shiny
> metallic orange and silver sticker and the crisp new registration card
> were mine. Which is why I took great & precise care to clean my license
> plate with alcohol before sticking the adorable little thing in its
> proper place in the upper right hand corner, right on top of the old
> sticker. I did NOT want it coming loose and as an extra precaution I
> even ran my key across it in a criss-cross pattern so that if a thief
> tried to peel it off and reuse it, it would end up coming off in pieces
> and thereby be useless to them. (I read about that nifty trick years ago.)
>
> Well...
>
> My husband called me from work today. Seems he got pulled over by a
> state trooper. Because his tag sticker has expired. He's puzzled and
> tells the officer that that doesn't make sense, since his birthday is
> not until July. And that he hasn't received any renewal info. The very
> nice officer explains that North Carolina does not coordinate tag and
> registration renewal dates by birthday. Instead, it's according to when
> you purchased the vehicle or when you initially registered it with the
> state. He very helpfully goes back to his police car to check the plates
> and returns to tell my husband that he is current, except for the tag
> sticker being too old. Because, the county records show that he paid for
> his tag and registration renewal in November. The officer suggests he
> might have lost or misplaced the registration card and sticker, since
> they were mailed out and very kindly only issues him a warning.
>
> When he calls and tells me this and asks if he'd received any renewal
> info I blithely tell him that nope, I only got info for my car and
> Chelsea's and promptly took care of them both in November. After a lot
> of questioning back and forth, I also gently reminded him that his car
> is his car and since I already take care of two of the cars that he will
> need to call the DMV tomorrow and find out what went wrong. But to
> placate him and to puzzle out the why of it, I walk out to Chelsea's car
> and check her license plate and sticker. Did ya know that they have
> matching numbers on them? I didn't.
>
> So I walk over to my car and check the license plate and sticker. Well,
> huh, whaddya know, they don't match. Imagine that! Jim asked me to read
> off the number and guess what??? It's HIS license plate number on the
> sticker! And sure enough when I look in the glove box it's his
> registration card sitting safely there. Which would explain why he
> couldn't find it when the nice officer asked to see it.
>
> Ok, so then I have to search all over my glove box to try and find my
> actual registration card. Can't find it! Darn, darn, darn!
>
> I went online and discover that for a mere $15 I can order a replacement
> registration card. And for another $15 I can order a new sticker. Online
> even. Only I need to enter my tag number (no problem, as I have that)
> and my title number, which the site helpfully points out is located on
> the MISSING registration card. Why do they DO that?!? If you need a
> replacement, then you aren't going to have that number! Trust me, it's
> not on ANY of the bank papers, insurance papers or other MANY pieces of
> paper associated with the purchase of the car that I desperately
> searched through. Only other alternative is to drive to Walnut Cove on
> Friday. Last time we drove there, the answering machine said they were
> open, the website said they were open, but when we arrived there was a
> sign on the front door saying they would be gone for another week. I
> really, really didn't want to drive all the way to Walnut Cove tomorrow.
> Especially with their track record.
>
> But, this has to be taken care of ASAP, because Jim has the warning
> ticket and once I remove his sticker off my my license plate I
> discovered that his and my old one are now stuck together so hard that
> they won't come part. Except of course in pieces, because you know I had
> to do that theft prevention thing. So this means that there will be a
> VERY obvious bare corner on my license plate. Somehow, I figure that the
> chances of that going unnoticed until April (when we now know is when I
> will receive my renewal info) are between slim and none. But I can
> salvage his sticker. I  know this because I used a razor scraper to
> remove it and then I had to put it back on to go pick up Zach.
>
> And as I am sitting waiting for Zach to get in the car, I remember that
> my instruction manual is laying in my back seat to remind me to stop and
> pick up the new air filter that I need. Normally all of my vehicle
> papers are in a nice neat folder in my glove box. But for some freaky
> and fortuitous reason when I opened the manual, there I found my actual
> registration! Ooo-rah! (Marine style yell, courtesy of Pam. <g>)
>
> So that got me to thinking. I have Jim's registration and I can attach
> his tag sticker, so he's squared away all nice and legal. I now have my
> registration, but I still need my tag sticker. I figure I don't have all
> that much to lose if I try, (just one more time) to separate the two
> stickers. Because I reason, that if they start to come apart, I will
> sacrifice mine since it's due to be renewed in April anyway and maybe
> the county office will just let me renew early. If not, then I will be
> out $15 for a new sticker.
>
> I plan it all out on the drive home. Once we get home I assemble my
> tools & supplies on the kitchen counter after once again removing my
> license plate and carefully scraping off the sticker(s). I laid out two
> brand new razor blades, clear packing tape, address labels, permanent
> markers, scissors, gel pens, and the stupid stuck together stickers.
>
> After carefully inserting the razor blade in between the two stickers on
> one corner I made slow progress. I was so excited that they were peeling
> apart!! Until one of the corners broke off. Dang, that crisscrossing
> with the key really does work! Although at that moment, I was indeed
> sorry to be proving that theory correct. Ok, so one little corner won't
> matter. I kept working...with the cat rubbing against my legs and then
> Cloud, the perpetual puppy, coming in to chase the cat. Then Chelsea
> comes in to watch. I yelled (politely) for everyone to get outta the
> kitchen because they were making me so nervous and I really didn't want
> to add a visit to the ER to the evening. (Trying to explain to the ER
> staff exactly why I had sliced up my fingers was not high on my list of
> preferred things to do.)
>
> Slowly, oh-so-slowly the stickers kept separating. Ok, so I ended up
> with one sticker in 4 pieces and the other in 5 pieces, but I looked
> upon them as teeny-tiny jigsaw puzzles to reassemble. Giving up at this
> point was NOT an option. The first step in the process of reassembling
> your license plate sticker is to precisely place all of the pieces (even
> the slivers) onto a big address label, because you have pretty much
> destroyed its original adhesive abilities and you also need something to
> give it substance. Plus, the white background of the label lends itself
> to coloring in missing places. Lemme tell you how VERY pleased I was to
> find the exact shade of reddish orange marker in my mandala marker
> collection! A few touch-ups to the edges and to the slightly distorted
> NC and it looks pretty darn good. Thankfully, the really important part;
> you know, those numbers that have to match the actual license
> plate?...well, thankfully they were not damaged. One of the tears went
> cleanly around them. I thought that was pretty cool. I didn't have a
> silver marker that would match just right, but I did luck out and found
> my silver gel pen for filling in the shape of the state and for the
> border around the oh-so-important numbers. I added a clear protective
> cover of packing tape and then carefully cut it out to match its
> original shape. Voila!
>
> I stuck it back on my license plate and placed the whole thing back in
> its black frame and proudly screwed it back onto my vehicle. You have to
> bend over and look really close to see that it's not "quite" perfect.
> And ya know, some people really mangle theirs anyway when sticking them
> on. So it's not like every single car with a sticker has a perfect one.
> As a precaution I am printing out this story and placing it in my glove
> box, just in case I get stopped by a police officer. I want him to know
> that it was a simple mistake and that we are paid up and legally
> registered. I have my registration card. So what if my sticker is not
> perfect? It only has to last me a couple of more months. :-D
>
>
> ...Sachet
>
>