TheBanyanTree: Tell It to the Judge

[Maria Gibson]

Hey, I'm supposed to be at work right now but I just got a 'get out of 
jail free' card and need to just relax.  Here's the story.

Last September 9th, I got a ticket.  First ticket in my whole squirrelly 
life, I think I may have mentioned it; cute cop, all that...?  I don't 
know, maybe I did, maybe I didn't.  God knows I have enough fodder to 
jam up email boxes everywhere so maybe I layed low on that incident.  
Anyway.  First ticket was for driving without current registration.  And 
it was several months past or the cute cop said he'd have let me slide.  
I never got the thingy from DMV but turns out it's actually my 
responsibility as the car owner to know when to have the darn thing 
renewed.  The next day, first thing in the morning, I went to DMV, got 
it taken care of and was happy as a clam until I saw that my court date, 
October 10, was smack dab in the middle of my trip to Florida to see 
Carla for her birthday.  Ok, called the DA's office to speak with 
someone about postponing the date and talked with the nicest woman 
ever.  EVER.  Heard my little story including how cute the cop was and 
told me to fax everything to her.  She wouldn't have the date 
postponed...she'd have the ticket DISMISSED!  Got confirmation that the 
fax was received, called her for confirmation on the dismissal, all was 
well.  Wow, Kathy, thanks babe, love you, mean it!!!!  So off to Florida 
I go without a care in the world.  Well, maybe I had cares but that 
ticket wasn't one of them.

About five weeks later I get a message on my cell phone.  "Mrs. Gibson, 
this is Kathy.  I'm so sorry, didn't know you are in Wake county, I am 
in Johnston county.  Looks like you missed your court date."  Geeeeeze, 
thanks babe!  But, as luck or unluck would have it, the holidays and 
some anxiety and depression were taking up all the hard drive space in 
my brain at the moment and I promptly forgot about it.  Until I received 
the letter saying my license would be revoked as of February 16th if I 
didn't get it taken care of.  Hey, why didn't they just say so, right?  
Ok, so make my call, ask the Wakecounty DA's office if I can fax it in 
and they say "Absolutely not, you have to appear before the DA on a 
Wednesday and then return on Thursday."  Man, sure wish I'd gotten that 
ticket in Johnston county.  That would be by 7:30 am on a Wednesday and 
I had been warned that actually waiting to get there until 7:30 would 
result in waiting in the longest line in history.

Up by 5:15, out the door by 6:15, leaving in darkness.  I got to the 
public parking lot by 6:40, I was sooo proud of myself!!!  Pull in to 
get the ticket and....wait, what does this silly machine mean, "out of 
tickets"???!?  How can it be out of tickets??  Jam button a few times 
demonstrating the real definition of insanity (email me if you have 
forgotten) and by the time I look behind me, four cars block my way 
out.  We all backed out back onto the busy city street and I slowly 
drove away.  Slowly because I was stopping every pedestrian who would 
talk to me (note: not all of them I saw were willing to talk) and asking 
about more parking.  Ok, find a place two blocks away, not bad.  Still a 
little dark but what the heck.  The sign said pay the box...what box??  
Where's this pay box?  Where are the people to assist me??  Oh hell, 
just park and risk it.  Gotta get to court, right?  Finally get there, 
walk through the metal detector and beep.  Of course.  Had to be wanded, 
front and back, arms out.  Ok, ok....up the stairs, find the line I am 
supposed to wait in and then wait.  That is the purpose of the line 
right?  In that case, I put it to good use.  I waited from 7am to 7:45.  
I was third in line which was good because when I got to the desk I was 
told I had to go to a different office which by the way, doesn't open 
until 8:30.  Thank goodness I was second in that line.  A very abrupt 
and rude lady had me sign a piece of paper saying I'd be back at 10am 
today.  How does the state find so many mean and rude people?  Is it on 
their resumes?  Ech, fodder for another day.  The only good part of all 
this is that my car didn't have a ticket on it when I returned and there 
was no one to pay so I got off scott free for parking.  Finally, a break.

So, I left work at 9:15 today, got to the parking place where more 
tickets had been placed in the box thingy and got my ticket. Went in, 
made my way to the line to check in and have my file handed to the 
magistrate, get in another line to actually get to talk to the one 
person who can help me with this now complicated, convoluted, 
multi-faceted, spiraling out of control to *my* mind problem.  However, 
the magistrate really wasn't interested in all the ins and outs of my 
sad tale.  He looked at me sternly and said, "So, you decided to just 
skip your court date?"  I say "No, I had a prior commitment."  Says he, 
"What was the commitment if you don't mind me asking?"  I say, "I had to 
go out of town."  Mind you, I am starting to wonder how I'll pay this 
crap because it ain't looking so good.  He says, "What did you have to 
go out of town for?"  To which I grudgingly admitted, "A birthday 
party."  He looks up and says, "You dodged a court appearance for a 
birthday party?!?  Well, I hope it was worth it."  I then pulled out my 
fax copy from October fourth, my only evidence to present, and told the 
sad story about Kathy but before I could get to the wrong county part he 
interrupts with, "Well, I'd go upstairs right now and ask her why she 
did this to you."  In a horrified and dejected voice, yes both can be 
done simultaneously but it takes a master not an apprentice, I said, 
"But, I'd like to share this fully with you and point out it was sent to 
the wrong county and when I left town I thought was taken care of!"  
Without missing a beat or breaking his stern stare he said "What's your 
favorite charity?"  "Huh?"  (That was me not him) "Your favorite 
charity, what is it?"  "Uh, breast cancer awareness."  He says, "If I 
let you out of here without paying the court costs, fine and late fee, 
will you promise me you'll write a check to them for 25$?"  Need I even 
relate my answer?

So, this whole thing has me back in the car by 10:15.  Swear it.  So, I 
decided to go home, tell all of you about it and try to relax.  I'm 
going back to work now but it is with the clear knowledge that on 
February 16th, I'll still have my license.  Barring any further criminal 
acts on my part, of course.

Maria