TheBanyanTree: Yard Maintenance

[Pam North]

Last summer was pretty ugly for me, and there was of course, a lot of
self-induced stress.  I was miserable and searching.

Then my boss, Sam, suggested that I start planting flowers.  He said
there was something about getting your hands dirty and sweating, and
watching seeds grow to blooms that just does something for the spirit.

So I tried it.  I actually got out in my yard and started doing
things!  And I probably got a little carried away....

It actually started while I was looking for a pin in a pinestraw
stack.  I had gotten Molly a wind thingy at the kite store that was a
horse...  when the wind blew it would turn around and twist.  And it
had a pin that attached its two pieces together.  More than once the
wind blew it apart and I kept finding the pin and putting it back
together.  Until the day I didn't.  And when I *finally* went looking
for the pin I found all kinds of junk.

The little corner by the garage used to be where Todd stored
'stuff'...  He used old baking pans of mine to clean gun and auto and
bike parts; soak them; or drain used oil/substances in.  When he was
done, he'd dispose of whatever, and then lean the pans up against the
brick of the house.  It's also where he put the gas containers and oil
containers.

Mostly, I'm sure the area should have been a haz/mat site!  I found
pieces of metal, nuts, bolts and really weird stuff while I was
searching for the pin.  In this same area, there was a bush.  A dead
bush.  I think it used to bloom, but I didn't remember what it bloomed
with, and by then it was just a dead looking thing with something
green growing at the base of it.  I realized that the green was not
even attached to the bush, and when I yanked, the whole dead thing
just came up out of the ground!  Kool!

*That* was fun!  After I removed the dead bush, I started trying to
find the bottom of the pine needles.  They were thick and disgusting,
and I wasn't surprised that the bush had died.  So I cleaned it all
out!  Took out 3 or 4 inches of dead needles, and stood back and
surveyed my work.  Hmmm...  it needed something.

SO I headed on down to the store and bought me some bags of Miracle
Grow Dirt and some flowers!!  The year before my neighbor Carol
(Adeline's daughter) had gone to Lowe's and gotten roses bushes for
$1.50 and she'd brought me one.  Green Thumb that I am, I set the pot
on the back porch and there it stayed all winter.  Out in the elements
to fend for itself!

Now that I was getting all into it, I planted the rose bush with the
flowers around it and saw what I did, and I was proud!  I filled in
with a couple of bags of mulch, and my little corner garden was
adorable!

I was so proud I had to tell my neighbors, so I brought Carol and her
husband Lee over to survey my handiwork.

On the other side of the garage door I had a huge bush/tree at the
corner that I hated!  It was always trying to take over the sidewalk,
and I'd hack it back, and it would keep growing with bald spots.  We
were talking about it and Lee said, "Well then pull it out!"

My eyes bulged!!  *I* could remove this?!?!  Really?!?!?  Wow!!!!!  I
had the power!

So I borrowed loppers and started really hacking away!  Once I had all
the branches off and mostly the tree/bush down to the 'core', I got my
handy-dandy sheet out that I use usually for raking pine needles.  It
is my very own redneck version of a wheelbarrow!  I laid the sheet
down and loaded the branches on it, and then drug the whole thing down
to the roadside for the city to eventually come pick up.

Then, with Lee and his sons' help, we chained the remaining 'core' to
my Jimmy, and I learned a new and useful thing...  Back up; slam
forward; back up; slam forward.  And eventually we got that darn thing
out of the ground!  My gosh the roots went on FOREVER!  They actually
went under the cement and the house!  I am still finding root pieces
to hack away.

And once I did the biggie, I was on a roll!  Those prickly holly
bushes around the front porch that I hated and found impossible to
trim???  Ripped those suckers out too!!  Couple more dumb bushes along
the front of the house that I had no use for???  Gone!  Those boys and
I had a pile stacked by the time we were done that we couldn't even
see over or around!

I went online and ordered 'rose hedges', and I planted them by the
front porch.  All along the front I planted different flowers and a
couple more rose bushes, in between these tall stupid bulbing plants
that would grown 3 feet high, get a bloom, and then fall over from the
weight.  They've been there forever and they keep multiplying and I
never knew anything about them.  So I thinned them out and even found
a couple of daffodils inside the mess!

And I covered everything with a layer of pine bark mulch - and it was beautiful!

Every morning I wandered along the length of my house admiring my work
looking for new blooms and pulling a few weeds here and there, and I
discovered something else.  The STOOPID pine trees were dropping
needles all over the place!!!

The pine trees HAD to go!  Along the front and garage side I counted
*SIX* trees that were a priority for pine tree heaven.  Unfortunately,
tree removal don't come cheap!  So I'd need to get estimates and call
around and come home...  Carol suggested marking the trees so that
whoever could come by, see the trees, and I could do that part over
the phone without having to be there.  Great idea!  In the garage I
found a an old can of silver spray paint, and I proceeded to 'label'
those trees.  I painted a circle around every one, about eye level.

And they stayed like that for a couple of weeks.  I got plenty of
questions, lemme tell you!  About that time the hurricanes started
coming and I joked that I had labeled them for God so he'd know which
ones to take, and then he'd save me a little money.

But alas, God wasn't impressed with my sense of humor, and he left all
the trees for me!  Now, if you don't know, Carolina pines have NO
redeeming features!  They grow up lots and lots of feet before there
is the first branch - so  there's no shade! - and they grow lots and
lots of cones and needles that from that height can spread near and
far in the winds!  Trust me, Carol and Lee were excited about removing
the trees also!

I finally found a gentleman - a retired Marine in fact - who was able
to schedule my trees into his schedule, AND he had a payment plan:  90
days same as cash!!!  Way too cool!  AND, *AND* this guy was a hottie!
*Always* nice to look at a hottie!

The morning he showed up with the first of his trucks and two helpers,
I got so excited watching I called work and told them I'd be late.  It
was fascinating watching them!  Five of the six trees he was able to
just lay down.  He blocked off the cul de sac and the trees just
timbered down across the road.

Then they used saws on the branches, and then fed the branches into
this machine that chewed it all up into sawdust.  The remaining tree
trunk was marked off and cut into specific lengths - I guess that's
how they're sold to sawmills.  They had a little tractor machine that
picked up the trees and loaded them onto a flatbed.  There were
SEVERAL different vehicles used to clear my trees!  And it was all
fascinating to watch!

And I don't know why I've droned on like this...  nobody around today
to talk to and I've been thinking about getting out and clearing the
beds soon to start over this spring and it all came back and I guess I
just rambled! 

No surprise there....

Pam