TheBanyanTree: Duke Time Part 1

[Pam North]

(This was written a day earlier.  Please note that within these two
parts, I think I spellchecked in two errors (that I know of!).  One
should say 'Bonnie's' vice "Bennie's', and I think I changed a
'brother' to 'bother'.)

I just spent a most interesting fourteen-hour day - six driving, and
seven hanging around a hospital... and I dunno where the other fit in.
 Maybe a part of that hour to each....

My brother-in-law Louie, husband of my older sister Bonnie, started
limping five or six years ago.  Since then, his body has been
steadily, but slowly deteriorating on him.  My sister has seriously
believed that he suffered a small stroke at some point.  And last year
he was in an auto accident that screwed him up worse.  Since then, he
has moved like a man suffering from Multiple Schelerosis or something
of that nature - he has to drag his legs with him, and he's had no
body strength.

At 52-ish, he's smoked for years, drank a LOT for years, and 'hung
steel' working construction just as long.  He's done his body no
favors, and it was looking like his body was paying him back.

Since the accident he hasn't been able to work, and they've had no
medical insurance.  My sister has finally gotten him Medicare, and has
been trying to get him medically retired and on Social Security.

She attempted to get him an appointment to be seen by a neurologist at
the University of North Carolina medical center because she knew they
had a 'payment plan', but their earliest available appointment wasn't
until November.  So she made calls and more calls, finally got
somebody's attention, and finagled him an appointment at Duke
University Medical Center last week!

And though the news wasn't at all what was expected, it still wasn't
good.  Turns out that Louie's is suffering severe nerve damage around
the vertebrae in his neck.  The doctor was amazed that he wasn't
already dead!  Evidently (and these are words from a *seriously*
medical-jargon-challenged individual!), the nerves could easily have
been pinched to cause him to just stop breathing at any time!  So on
Friday, they scheduled him for surgery for the following Tuesday,
today.  The doctor said it wasn't to "fix" him, it was to save his
life; it wasn't a question of *if* to have the surgery, but when. 
Scary stuff for him and my sister!  He's never had any kind of surgery
in his life!

So, with Duke about three hour's drive from me, I got up at three this
morning to get on the road at four, to be there for the 0730 scheduled
surgery.  My sister had a little over an hour's drive, and my brother
drove in from about two hours away.  Also, my sister's best friend
Cindy (for the last thirty years!) also made a two-hour drive to meet
her at the hospital.

My parking slip was stamped at 0637 this morning.  I followed my
sister's directions from the parking garage into the main building, to
the elevators, up three floors, and a right, to find the surgical
waiting room.  Besides the lobby waiting, there was also a large room
with more comfy chairs and TVs.  I went in and went up to the info
desk and told the lady that I was looking for my sister, that her
husband (his name) was having surgery.  She immediately picked up her
phone, called pre-op to see if Louie was still there, and asked if his
'sister' could come back.

Now.  I did NOT say I was his sister, but I let it go for a chance to
go back.  And there lay Louie.  He was laid out in a hospital gown,
with an IV already started, and the cutest little 'bonnet' on his
head!  Okay... actually it was one of those shower-cap-looking things
the doctors wear in surgery.

Bonnie wasn't there.  He told me she had gone to move the truck that
she'd left just parked out front in loading.  He asked how I got back
there?!  I told him the story.  And we chatted for a few minutes about
the surgery, Jerry (whom he LOVES), the kids, life, etc.

Then the doctor came back and started talking, and then the
anesthesiologist came as well.  The doctor asked where he was being
operated on, and when Louie told him, the doc marked the back of his
neck with a green marker.  The anesthesiologist asked the same
questions and confirmed all the lab results.  And here was the issue: 
Because the doctor was going to be operating on his neck that was
already suffering nerve damage, he didn't want to make things worse. 
Instead of knocking Louie out and *then* flipping him over, he wanted
to intubate him while awake, position him on his stomach comfortably,
and *then* put him under.  They started talking about drops down his
nose to numb his throat to put the tube in, and I waved good-bye and
told him I'd see him on the other side.

I do NOT do medical stuff, blood, guts, etc. AT ALL!!!!

So I walked back into the main lobby and sat on the bench right in
front of the elevators to wait for my sister and/or bother to show up.
 Finally my brother came up.  He walked over and hugged me where I sat
because I was just TOO tired to stand up!  Then he sat next to me, I
told him what I'd done, and that I hadn't seen Bonnie yet.

Somehow the conversation got around to the 'other' waiting room, and I
sent him in to check for her.  And sure enough, there she was!  And
was she pissed!!!!!  After she'd taken Louie in to 'change' for the
surgery, she'd been made to leave!  But they let me go into pre-op!!! 
When she questioned the woman at the info desk (wanting to go back
again), she was basically told that she'd had 'her turn' when she took
him in, but *I* hadn't had a chance, so I was allowed in pre-op!!! 
Lesson Number One in Not Understanding the Rules!

By then it was close to 0730, his scheduled surgery time, so we left
with our brother to go outside and find a secluded spot to smoke, but
still see the entrance and wait for Cindy.  When she didn't show up
after a few minutes, Bonnie got anxious and called her cell phone. 
Some strange man answered!!!!!  Seems like he was security who'd found
her cell phone in the men's room at the VA hospital across the
street!!!

So of course, my sister started worrying that *really* Cindy was
abducted by a crazed sex offender and that she was dead and the guy
had her phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You really gotta love my sister!  So we
stayed where we were to watch out, and sent my brother next door to
retrieve the phone.  Within minutes he called and said he'd found her
and was going to go get the phone.

While he and I had parked in *paid* parking, she had parked next door
in their *free* lot and had gone inside to look like she was visiting.
 And she *did* visit the bathroom!  The GIRLS bathroom!!!  We never
did solve the mystery, but she got her phone back and they came to
find us.  Turns out that she had *also* been upstairs waiting for us
but didn't go into the room to look for Bonnie, had looked at me and
not been sure (we figure it's been 15 or 16 years since we've seen
each other!), *I* had seen the back of her waiting for the elevator
(!!!!), and we'd all crossed paths several times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now a couple of notes (consider them 'commercials' if you will!):  In
*MY* experience, hospital gift shops have the COOLEST stuff in them!!.
 (I LOVE going a month or so after Christmas just to see what's marked
way down and priced to sell!  Unfortunately, somebody has to get sick
around that time to go!)  Also, Duke has a neat new system!  Have you
ever gone to The Outback for dinner, found a line and put your name on
the list, only to be given a square gizmo with a blinking light, but
that when your name comes up it flashes and vibrates to tell you it's
time to go sit down???  Well... that's what the hospital was handing
out for relatives.  When Louie checked in, they gave one to Bonnie to
carry around, and when it flashed she was to call the number on it to
find out what they wanted!  Which in itself is potentially
nerve-wracking stuff!

So, there we sat outside smoking, catching up, distracting Bonnie,
while I talked about going to the Gift Shop that wasn't open yet! 
Finally, I settled on the cafeteria and coffee!!!  And then the
'square' flashed!  Oh crap!  It was about 0830, an hour (supposedly)
into the surgery!!!  Had he died already?!?!?!?!?

Oh no.  It was only the nurses calling to say that the surgery had
begun, and that he was doing fine!  This was our first official
experience with "Duke Time"!!!  Zero seven thirty really means,
'whenever'!!

So after Bonnie called and got her heart beating again, we went for
coffee and sat around waiting on the gift store to open.  And once
again, I was NOT disappointed!!!  They had neatest
'platter-plate-bowl-thing' with purple pansies painted on it!!  And it
was on the CLEARANCE table!!  Originally priced at $39, it was on sale
for THIRTEEN!!!!!  I asked my sister and Cindy if they thought I
really needed it and Bonnie suggested it might be pricey.  When I told
her the real price she told me to RUN and get it before somebody else
did!!!!

I have NO idea what I'll do with it yet, and I really shouldn't have
spent the money then, but it is so cool and pretty and well, I just
HAD to have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we killed a bunch more time.  Bonnie had been told that the
surgery would take about three hours.  So.  Our 0730 plus three hours
had been adjusted to 0830 plus three.  I told her not to start
stressing until noon.  EVERYbody knows that surgeries can run over
easily for no good reason to those waiting, and her blood pressure was
rising.

A little after ten, shopped and coffied, we decided to walk to the
parking garage so I could put my purchase in my car and not have to
carry it around.   As we walked past the front of the building, Cindy
and Chuck were in the lead with Bonnie following them, and me bringing
up the rear.  And then I stopped!  In a stroller was the cutest little
girl with a purple flowered hat on, folded up in front!   She was
adorable, and as I mostly always do, I had to stop, bend down, and
'talk' to her and get her to smile!  (I've ALWAYS loved the babies!) 
But she smiled easily and so I talked to her for a few minutes and
asked her mom about her hair, which turned out to be red (!!) with her
most beautiful blue eyes!

While my sister was patiently waiting, the other two and gone on and
taken a moment to realize that we weren't with them!  As we all
finally waited for the walk light to change, Bennie's 'gizmo' thing
flashed!