TheBanyanTree: "Danger, Will Robinson..."

[Maria Gibson]

***explicit language****uncharacteristically foul*****could make the feint of heart faint*** 


**PLEASE TURN BACK IF THIS IS NOT FOR YOU**
 
 
Man, oh man, this midlife crisis shit is not, I repeat, not for
pussies.  I have had a week all to myself with room to explore and have
found deep and troubling caves. I am screwed and others may be screwed.
This is not a fair world, however, and you take your lumps when you
choose your risks.
 
I have been toying with toying with men.   It's not really a sex thing,
it is more of a 'can I make them want me?' thing.  Well, I can and I
did.  I asked a young man for a date and he accepted.  He showed up.  He
kissed me.  He deemed me worthy of a fuck and we then parted company.  I
didn't. I wanted to.  A lot.  *He* wanted to.  A lot.

This is the abbreviated version, of course, and all I'm willing
to share.  It isn't a pretty story and shows my really keen asshole
side, the person I don't want to take home to meet mom.  I don't take
pride in it. I have to take all the bits and pieces of it and try
to somehow make sense of it.  It was senseless.
 
This is a harsh and ugly truth.
 
Maria