TheBanyanTree: Pet owner's worst day.

[Laura]

Yesterday morning I noticed again that she was having trouble swallowing. 
 She gulps her food, just like she always has, but now it's getting stuck 
in her throat.  The muscles just won't push it down like they use to.  
Maybe that big tumor around her sternum is pushing against her esophagus. 
 Maybe the short circuits that caused her ever progressing epilepsy have 
shorted out the swallowing mechanism too, I dunno.  

Almost daily she has these weird little seizures.  Her eyes flick back 
and forth, and her ears twitch, and she holds her head to one side.  
Sometimes she staggers.  Are these daily mini-seizures less scary for her 
than the monthly grand-mals she used to have?  I dunno.

The lumps that she used to have in a couple of places have grown and 
multiplied into tens of them.  Soft little fatty tumors that grow slowly 
and press on sensitive areas.  To have them removed would require hours 
of surgery, and hundreds of sutures, only to have them probably grow back 
later.  They're tender, I know that.  Sometimes when you pet her, she 
snaps at you, just to let you know you hit a sore spot.  Would she have 
really bitten us?  I dunno.

Her back bothers her a lot.  She brings the ball, but can only chase it a 
couple of times before dropping to the ground and panting painfully.  I 
watched her fall trying to come up the stairs, and have seen her slip and 
fall going down as well.  Would more drugs have helped her back?  I 
dunno.

Yesterday I called the vet, and scheduled an appointment for Friday to 
euthanize her.  I showed up at the appointed time today, only to be 
informed that today is not Friday, but Thursday.  Seeing the tears in my 
eyes, they graciously let me have my appointment today, instead of having 
to wait and wonder another day.  She went into the exam room all excited. 
 She loves riding in the car and going places.  I put her on the towel 
covered table, and she licked my arm and wagged her tail.  We turned her 
over on her side, and she licked my hand.  I held off the vein with one 
hand, and petted her head with the other.  As the pink liquid went in, 
she lifted her head, looked me in the eyes, and licked my cheek.  Then I 
felt her spirit leave, and her head slowly sagged to the table.

Did I do the right thing?

I dunno.

Wolfie
-- 
Laura
wolfljsh at insightbb.com
http://home.insightbb.com/~wolfljsh/index.html