TheBanyanTree: A Question of Comittment

[Pam North]

I voted.

Here in North Carolina, in a small County, I placed my vote.  

But as one citizen in this country, I have questions with an issue.  And right here, now, after mostly silence in this Tree, I want to ask this question, and put that question 'to paper'.  It's rhetorical to/for you, but it's from my heart.

I am 44 and twice divorced.   I am a woman who has only ever had intimate relations with men, and once married and divorced my children's father, and once married and am now divorced from the love of my life (not by choice).

(Yes, I may find another great love, but that is not the issue.)

After birthing two terrific kids, I divorced their father.  We maintain an extremely friendly relationship and we have always focused on the kids and their best welfare, but ultimately, we live apart.

And then I married "the man of my dreams" and invited him to live with me in marriage, inviting him into my kids' lives to nurture, discipline, and influence.

And after five years or so of wedded bliss, he chose another life and walked away from all of us.  Walked away to the point of denying our existence and the years we were a family.  In his eyes, we are all dead, we don't exist, he was never a part of this family.

*THAT* is the great American way of life.

How can *I*, a mostly conservative voter, judge other unions of "same-sex" individuals - unions that involve two people who are COMMITTED to each other - how can *I* judge them as wrong??

Okay, maybe that is not "holy matrimony" as explained biblically, but why can they not be recognized as a union amongst two adults - committed to each other!?   Why do they not rate health/life insurance benefits (etc!) as two committed adults simply because they are not the same sex??

How am I teaching my children important commitment issues in life, that they, are not?

Somehow, I personally don't feel myself in a position to judge anybody, anywhere.

Pam