TheBanyanTree: COMFORTING DOWN

[Sharon Mack]

>From my other writing workshop:

Journal Prompt 

Friday July 30, 2004

With comfort comes nurturing, genuine acceptance, and love. Comfort doesn't involve any expense. It comes from the heart. It goes right to the heart. ~Melody Beattie 

COMFORTING DOWN

The baby was screaming and nothing Katey did would silence or comfort him.  She walked him, rocked him, changed him, fed him, but he continued with his shrill ear-piercing howl.  She began to cry.  It had been hours and all she wanted to do was sleep.  She laid him down on the bed and watched his crumpled old-man face grow redder as he realized she was no longer holding him.  His cries got louder and his small fists got tighter as his arms stiffened with his rage at being ignored.  At least that was how she saw it.

She wanted her Mom.  She wanted her Mom to be here to tell her what to do. NEVER had the idea EVER occurred to her that she would not be able to comfort a baby.  She loved kids*at least that's what she had thought.  Why wouldn't he stop?  What was wrong with him?  Did he need a doctor?  Where was Charlie now that she needed him, now that the baby was here?  She felt so weak.  Everyone had told her that fifteen and a baby would not be easy and she had thought them a pain in her ass.  Now she knew they had been right.  Did she even love this child anymore?  She knew she had when he'd been born, knew she had when the nurses brought him all wrapped up and clean with his little blue knit cap, knew she had when he had first suckled her breast...but now?  She wasn't sure anymore.

She laid down beside her son and watched his lower lip quiver between sobs and then it happened....he hiccupped and belched and farted all in one breath.  She was so surprised she started to laugh, a big hysterical laugh.  She laughed until her stomach began to hurt.....and then she noticed his beautiful, big blue eyes looking at her.  He focused right onto her smiling, laughing face and seemed to be studying her mouth in particular.  He'd stopped crying.

Smiling wearily, she took up her son and walked to the bathroom and drew them a warm bath adding some bubble bath from the Johnson's baby collection she'd gotten at her shower.  She hugged him with all of her heart as they sat together in the warmth of the steamy bathroom, watching the tub fill and smelling the bubble bath's sweet scent.  Snuggling him as she lowered him with her into the warm bubble bath, she talked to him softly just as she had in the hospital, telling him all of her hopes and dreams.  When they were close to the "raisin" stage she let the water drain away from their bodies without moving until it was all gone. Afterward, she wrapped them together in a big white fluffy towel until they were dry and warm.

After flannel pajamas and a good feed for both of them she took her son into the big bedroom and instead of putting him in his oversized crib, tucked him beneath her arm in her bed.  Pulling the down quilt close to their chins she listened to his quiet steady breathing.  Just before sleep overtook her, she remembered just how much she loved him and knew that they would be ok....even if all they ever had was each other.

By Sharon L. Mack