TheBanyanTree: Second-Guessing

[NancyIee at aol.com]

When making a decision, they say to make a list, enumerating all the good and 
bad points of each side of the dilemma. Even if not writing an actual list, 
most of us weigh the pros and cons. Only a few can make snap decisions, even on 
major issues, and never regret it.

I make a mental list and am happy I made the right choice. There were 
definitely more pros than cons, and in my heart of hearts, I know this is right for 
my life.  But, am I the only person who agonizes and second-guesses afterward?

Is 'what was' a mere habit or a rut too comfortable to climb out of? Does 
change, even good change, stress us to the point we wished we had never dared the 
choice?

I once had a quilt given to me by someone I loved and is now dead. How I 
cherished that quilt, even when it became tattered and the patterns faded with 
washings. I shopped for a long time for a new quilt, and eventually, found one I 
really liked. It looked grand on my bed, among my other things. It was bright 
and perfect and, I had to admit, looked even better than the old quilt.

Yet, every now and then I wanted my old quilt back. It was comfortable, 
something from one I loved dearly, part of my past and a time in my life that was 
young and vivacious. My friends like the way my room looks, and I have many 
complements on the decor. I really like it.

So, why do we second-guess and have a sort of mourning for something worn 
out, faded, outgrown, no longer even fits?

Granted, a quilt is not a major life decision. Is doubt and second-guessing 
part of Human Nature, or only another of my personal idiosyncracies?

It must be me. I even hate to throw out a pair of old favorite jeans, no 
matter the paint spatters and scuffed knees.


NancyLee