TheBanyanTree: Test drive, 2005: preliminary report

[Peter Macinnis]

The New Year comes as one main model, with blue skies and a light trim of
white cloud (in certain Asian countries, the silver lining has been deleted
as an option). It features warm air, watery sunshine and the hangover of
the 60s seems to be a thing of the past. Only time will tell if it will
last the distance, or sputter out, somewhere around September next.

Now to this year's resolutions:

* To wear a hat saying Naturall Philosopher on alternate Sundays.

* To reinvent the ancient Turkmenistani sport of sand-swimming, and get it
adopted by the front-runners of the 2012 Olympics.

* To persuade two major religious figures to criticise my see-through socks
as indecent.

* To increase the capacity of my see-through sock factory.

* To find a partner to manufacture and sell foot burkahs to wear over the
see-through socks.

* To develop the aerodynamic chocolate pizza.

* To find a method of producing coffee-free caffeine.

* To promote the recognition of vitamin Ch, found in cheese, cholesterol,
chocolate, chives and anchovies.

* To campaign to rename coffee as choffee.

* To walk with pigeons and dance with jellyfish.

* To develop my skills as a free-fall yodeller.

* To eschew chardonnay.

* To drink more Guinness (but not Guinness chardonnay).

* To rise in the pre-dawn once a week to wake all the bloody birds
responsoble for the dawn chorus.

* To live in a barrel, and walk around with a candle, looking for an honest
politician.

* To write a symphony for massed tympani with a full desk of triangles.

* To catch a kangaroo on the hop.

* To eschew chardonnay.

* To improve my failing memory.

* To drink more Guinness (no, this is another pint, thanks -- there is
nothing wrong with my memory).

* To increase my repertoire of animal noises.

* To cross Australia with a herd of hyperactive goats and a wheelbarrow.

* To wake my herd of goats with a dawn chorus of animal noises.

* To eschew chardonnay.

* To find out how 'eschew' differs from 'quaff'.

peter




  _--|\    Peter Macinnis        petermacinnis at ozemail.com.au
 /     \   Chair of Remote Linguini Sensing and Interior Demography,
 \.--._*   Coach, Australian Non-invasive Taxonomy Olympic Squad.
      v    http://members.ozemail.com.au/~macinnis/index.htm