TheBanyanTree: A story from my column at the newspaper.. thought you might get a chuckle

[Sheri Baity]

Fried Green Tomatoes

By Sheri L. Baity


A little red Volkswagen pulls into the parking spot Evelyn Couch was waiting for,

"Ah, excuse me, ah, I was waiting for that space," she says to two young girls getting out of the car.

They answer, "Yeah. tuff!" The other young girl adds, "Face it lady, were younger and faster!"

Idgie's spirit of Towanda the amazing amazon woman takes over in Evelyn as she sternly speaks out, "T-o-w-a-n-d-a" and repeatedly rams into the back of the young girls car screaming, hollering and laughing. 

The two teenie boppers come running back to see the damage being done as the one young lady shouts out, "What are you doing? Are you crazy?"

Evelyn smiles like the Cheshire cat and says, "Let's face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."

How many of you have had a "Towanda" moment? A moment of "What ever happened to respecting your elders"? I had a "Towanda" moment just the other week. I'm telling you, it was exhilarating. It was freeing. It was powerful! I had a little bit more control of my raging hormones than Evelyn did in the movie, but still. I felt like it was the first day of my "Amazing Amazon Woman" life and I wasn't holding back.

After a long and exhausting day of shopping with my daughter and grand-daughter at the mall, we were setting in the car sorting through the bags so that when I dropped them at their house, it would be easier. A beautiful sunny day as I had the window down soaking up the slight breeze. A beat up older car pulled in and parked beside me on my drivers side. I saw a young man, maybe in his late teens get out of his driver's side seat and his girlfriend get out of the passenger seat. She sure was younger and faster and prettier.

With no consideration on her part, she swung open the door right into the side of my door. She simply said, "Oops," giggled and walked away holding her boyfriends hand, like nothing had ever happened.

I felt my teeth clutch as I glanced over at my daughter. She was looking at me with a terrified look in her eyes of wondering what her mother's move would be to this. As my voice elevated slightly but calmly I said, "Oops she said? Oops! Not an, I'm sorry. No, she just laughed and walked away and didn't even stop to see if there was any damage!"

My daughter was speechless as she watched me get out of my car and get into the back seat. She had a crazy split second thought that I was going to grab my pistol and shoot out there tires or something. That thought never came to me, I grabbed the biggest weapon I had. I grabbed my writing tablet and pen and proceeded to write the young whipper snapper a little note. It read:

Dear Young Whipper Snapper,

The next time you ram your car door into someone else's, you could at least have the common curiosity to say, "I'm Sorry!" Yes, my dear, not courteous child, you have many lessons in life yet to learn. You may be younger and faster and prettier, but, let's face it, I'm older and wiser and have better insurance! Signed: Towanda

I calmly read the letter to my daughter, then placed it under the windshield wiper of their car and got back into mine. An almost evil smile came to our faces as simultaneously my daughter and I growled out the word in slow tone. T-O-W-A-N-D-A! Screaming, hollering and laughing were heard throughout the mall parking lot as we went on our powerful way!

My thoughts wonder of what that young naive girl was thinking when she got back to her car and picked up the piece of paper and read along. Did I possibly have an impact on someone's consciences? Maybe, or maybe not, but what I was feeling that day just saying that simple word and taking the time to explain my feelings of disappointment to a total stranger on her actions, was totally moving and out of character for me. Will I do it again if I am confronted with lack of respect from the young? You bet I will! It's "Towanda" all the way. 








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