TheBanyanTree: Time Moves On

[pat.martin]

It was my birthday on November 27th--the big 50--and I was all alone in my big home until lunchtime when I met some friends for a celebratory lunch.

My daughter, Michelle, is currently attending second year university where she is majoring in English with a minor in professional writing and publishing.  She is a published author now, too, and has written some interesting news articles for the University of Victoria newspaper.

My husband, Andrew, is working in south eastern Washington state at the Hanford nuclear site, and celebrated American Thanksgiving with the family of one of his coworkers on my birthday.  He did, however, send me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  

The telephone has been ringing constantly for the past couple of days.  I am grateful to have so many friends who remembered my birthday and kindly told me that I don't look my age.  I'm not too keen on this aging business...  

This year has been one of great change for me.  In early February I confronted fear when I paddled down a crocodile-inhabited river, rappelled down a cliff, zip-lined across a ravine and climbed a pyramid.  On my return, Mrs. Lets-get-along-and-not-make-waves was no longer willing to be victimized by my employer.  I lost my cool, swore at the boss and walked out.  In the end, I quit my job, however I negotiated a 'lay off' and was provided with an excellent letter of reference.  Nevertheless, I was not able to leave behind my bitterness toward the Corporation for quite some time.  I learned a valuable lesson, though:  that no amount of money is worth my health and my happiness.

I don't miss work at all--a big surprise because I always thought 'I am what I do.'  Now, I know there's a whole lot more to me than my capabilities as an employee.  I no longer feel that I have to 'prove myself' to anyone.  I'm good enough just the way I am.

At this time, I volunteer at the local library on Mondays and at the Salvation Army Thrift shop on Tuesdays (but you won't find me standing on the street corner ringing Christmas chimes to raise money; I'd rather make a cash donation.)  

During the spring, I was busy exploring options to work overseas at an orphanage.  Then I discovered that one of my siblings is addicted to cocaine.  What a shock!  It is a struggle not to allow my sister's problem to ruin my life.  I have attended some counseling sessions and Al-Anon meetings to learn how to 'Let Go and Let God.'

For now, I have given myself permission to 'coast' without a definite direction.  There's nowhere I need to go and nothing I need to do.  Not working is kind of nice...

This Christmas Andrew, Michelle and I are heading to Big White again (this is our third year) for a few nights.  While my family is out skiing and snowboarding, I plan to read and hopefully write.  There will be horse-drawn sleigh rides, real reindeer, Christmas caroling and fireworks and lots of time to think.  

The idea for a novel has been percolating for some time now.  I'm hoping to get on with it soon.

Pat