TheBanyanTree: Making Spirits Bright

[Margaret R. Kramer]

MI usually wiggle out of the office Christmas parties.  I don’t like my job,
and while I like the people I work with, I really despise management.  Most
of our managers couldn’t manage their way out of a barn, but they’re
promoted because they learned how to keep their noses brown.

So, it seems to me hypocritical to go to a holiday party with our management
and pretend everything is “Ho, ho, ho,” and “Merry Christmas and a Happy New
Year.”

I got out of the big office party by just saying, “No,” but my alcoholic
boss likes to have his own little unit parties, and although I said, “No”
last year, our unit has expanded by three people, and I was pinned against a
wall and tortured by peer pressure to say, “Yes.”

One of my coworkers told me it wasn’t an option not to go – I was going.
And my other coworker said I could permanently damage my relationship with
my colleagues and our alcoholic manager if I didn’t go.  It’s amazing to me
how much political correctness rides on these silly office holiday parties.
Which proves the point that our office party really is a sham.

My alcoholic boss has our unit’s lunch late so he can spend the afternoon
drinking and not have to come back to work.  He waits for a day when HIS
boss is gone, so he can disappear for an afternoon without her noticing.

On the day of our lunch, he ran out of the office about 10 minutes before we
were supposed to go to get a jump on his alcoholic indulgence.  By the time
we got there, he was already on his second beer.

And then it began . . . the phony conversations, the office gossip, and the
horror on my alcoholic coworkers faces when I ordered water to drink.  You
see, our three newest colleagues in the unit are also alcoholics.  They’re
my bosses drinking buddies, although they’re all women.

They yanked out packs of cigarettes and matches, but they’re not smokers in
the true sense of the word.  They only smoke while they’re drinking.  They
lit up one cigarette after another, but they’re not addicted smokers,
because they don’t buy cartons or smoke at work.  Yeah, right.

Two of the women ordered vodka lemonades and the other one ordered a rum
drink of some kind.  My boss stayed with beer and I’m sure he felt he wouldn
’t get as drunk drinking beer as he would if he was drinking mixed drinks.

The food came and it was good.  We played a word game.  My boss has been
living with his girlfriend for 14 years, but hasn’t married her, so 90% of
the conversation focused on why he won’t get married.  My coworker’s husband
left her five years ago and they’re still litigating and the alcoholics
began plotting his murder.  Should they use a hit man or do it themselves?

I kept sipping my water and would discretely look at my watch, waiting for
the proper time to say good-bye and leave.

The rum drinker stopped at two drinks and began drinking coffee.  The
drinking buddies and my boss began another tab after he paid for the meal.
They ordered more drinks and beer.

I left after two hours.  I said my good-byes.  What a waste of time that
was!  I should get a medal for doing the socially correct thing.

I found out later that the rum drinker left shortly after we did.  She only
had two drinks and probably was OK for driving.  But my alcoholic boss and
the other two alcoholics drank the afternoon away, not leaving until after 5
pm.  They had eight vodka/lemonades, and I’m sure my alcoholic boss had a
case of beer.  They got in their cars and drove home.  Scary, isn’t it?

Margaret R. Kramer
margaretkramer at earthlink.net

http://www.polarispublications.com
Be a star!

http://www.bpwmn.org
Business and Professional Women of Minnesota

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the
idle seashore of the mind.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow