TheBanyanTree: How I Heat my Home with Hate Mail

[Julie Anna Teague]

I'm a practical, budget-minded person.  So when the pile of letters from a
disturbed ex-husband threatened to overflow their allowed space and showed
no signs of stopping, I thought of this excellent way to save on home
heating costs as well as rid myself of unsightly garbage. I've developed a
small machine which rolls up 8 1/2 by 11 sheets and envelopes with their
gummy parts removed.  Rolls them tightly into little twigs of controlling,
hissing, acusatory insanity.  Burnable bundles of a mind slipping,
misfiring, delusional, and always with a "cc" to an attorney who does not
claim him as a client.  (Sales potential for my invention?)  Pyro-ready
pages from a textbook example of what happens to an obsessively
controlling person in the absence of counseling and medication.  Up in
smoke.  Ashes to ashes.  And, as they say with chopping wood, warming
twice. 

Julie