TheBanyanTree: What is it about women?

[LaRose Karr]

What is it about women?

What is it about conflicts between women?  There is a young woman who has mistreated me for a couple years now.  She even got her husband involved and he has said some rude things to me as well.

I've heard that I remind her of someone in her past.  The first year I knew her, she ignored me and spurned my advances of friendship.  Once in a while I had opportunities to take pictures of her family and when I'd offer them in friendship, she would not even comment or say thank you.

I began to hear and recognize a flirty tone in her voice when she is being insincere.  She no longer can fool me.  I notice her constant need for attention and how every conversation is turned to her every crisis.

I remain silent because you cannot tell this woman the truth and in situations where you have to work closely with someone, it's sometimes best just to let things go than to constantly correct.  With someone this immature that is what you would have to do... constantly correct.

I even avoid eye contact with her and my demeanor is distant.

What is it about women that brings this burning to the surface?  I see it in men too but men would probably avoid rather than continue in an unhappy circumstance serving on committees together.

I thought for a while it must be me.  There must be some reason I cannot help this woman who suffers from clinical depression.  Surely she could listen to sound advice and common sense.  Surely she would be able to get a different point of view.  Not so, when her bulldog husband attacks anyone who offers her wisdom.

Recently I saw this enmity between women in a new light.  My daughter had a close friend in high school.  They celebrated sweet sixteen parties, loved each other more than I thought friends could.  

Then something happened in their senior year.  One went one way, and one went another.  Something happened that destroyed their friendship and changed the course of one girl's life.

It's taken years for my daughter to rebuild and regain her identity.  She's slowly coming back to who she really is inside.

In a social situation recently I greeted my daughter's friend warmly. I thought they had worked out their problems and were at least cordial.  I thought wrong.  There was bristling and no healthy greetings between the two.

I realized that my daughter's friend had wounded her more deeply than I knew.  My daughter had that same demeanor and attitude that I get around the young woman who has spurned my friendship.  

Perhaps there are women in this world that it is best you just leave alone.  Let them work out their head trips on the unsuspecting while the suspecting should run for cover.  

The oddest thing was that the young woman who has spurned me is sickeningly flirty sweet to my daughter's friend.  I wonder if there is a storm brewing when those two become friends? Or do calamities just attract?

I just know that my daughter is the nicest, most loving woman I know.  And to know that there is at least one woman in the world who brings out her bad side makes me mad.  What is it about women?
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